Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

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Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Thu Mar 27, 2025 8:54 pm

First of all, apologies for the thread. But it's a question i'd like discussed mainly due to the differing views on many forums regarding various teams / sports. And also I didn't want to mess up the matchday preview thread ....., or "HIJACK IT" as the modern day term seems to be.

But Rossi has raised the question of optimism and realism over the past few weeks or months and I believe it is a genuine question or topic for discussion. Allow me to use a couple of personal experiences first to give an idea of where I am coming from.

Hibs hadn't won a Scottish Cup for over 100 years.
2012: Hearts in the final. Gubbed 5-1
2013: Celtic in the final. Gubbed 3-0

.... and yep, realism kicks in and you think, nope, lets be real, its not happening.
Then 2016....., yep, realism still lingering around and we all just went out to get drunk.
But the realism turned into a 3-2 win vs The Sevco. First cup in 114 years. Celebration off the charts.

Couple this with the AFL's Richmond Tigers. My dad took myself and bro to the 1980 Grand Final at the MCG in Melbourne. Tigers smashed the Magpies that day.
Then....., the wilderness years happened..... 37 long years to 2017. Only a year after Hibs won the Scottish Cup.
When the Tigers went into those Play-offs, was thinking, "No, get real. This can't be happening!"
But then they annihilated favourites Adelaide in the Grand final, and then went onto 2019, & 2020 premierships as well.

I honestly believe 2016 & 2017 turned me from a "well, this ain't gonna happen" realist to a proper "LETS DO THIS!" optimist.

Similar feeling for homegrown Ipswich fans must've been that day vs Huddersfield. Back in the big time after 22 years.

I must admit, the realism popped back into the head for the Ipswich 24/25 season and I genuinely didn't think much would happen but the smidgeon of optimism DID have survival on the cards. I have literally no optimism at this current moment in time for survival. But I will feel so much worse if Ipswich DO survive and I was in the background having no faith or optimism.
That day in 2016 at Hampden....., we were celebrating but also thinking, we are gatecrashing a party here. We had ZERO faith.

So, summing up......,(in relation to sports) Is being a realist the answer for living a happier life. Or is being an optimist really the way so that you can feel more invested in the events taking place?

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by hallamblue » Thu Mar 27, 2025 9:50 pm

I've cheated a bit and gone for AI comparison....which is perhaps " factual" without "emotion"?

However ....

Of My personal trait i think can often be viewed as me being " negative". But I'm not intentionally trying to be that, but more that I'm so afraid of failure, that I'll assume the worst case scenario will happen, in an effort to soften the blow of falling short, or failing. If we are successful, it's a bonus, and then I can enjoy the moment. I suppose thus may be bourne out of good things not often happening in my life, but many bad/ sad things or disappointments. So much do, that I'm predisposed to almost expect them. Dg I can't believe something good will happen, because past history shows it rarely does. So im mentally preparing myself for another disappointment.

Just texting this makes me feel incredibly sad tbh... what a sad existence almost, lol. But when something good foes happen, it's the best day of my life because it feels so rare.

So I'd say I'm not a natural optimist. But am I a realist? I'm not sure....


Anyway AI came up with this :

Optimisim is a tendency to expect the best, while realism is the acceptance of things as they are, without being overly positive or negative. 

Here's a more detailed breakdown:

Optimism:

Definition: A mental attitude characterized by hope and confidence in success and a positive future. 

Focus: Optimists tend to see the good in everything and believe that things will turn out well. 

Example: An optimist might say, "Even though this project is behind schedule, we'll figure it out and get it done". 

Realism:

Definition: A way of thinking and acting based on facts and what is possible, rather than on hopes for things that are unlikely to happen. 

Focus: Realists accept the world as it is, without being overly positive or negative. 

Example: A realist might say, "This project is behind schedule, and we need to reassess our resources and timeline". 

Key Differences:

Perspective: Optimists tend to focus on the positive, while realists focus on the facts. 

Expectations: Optimists have high expectations, while realists have more grounded expectations. 

Approach to Problems: Optimists tend to see problems as challenges, while realists tend to see problems as obstacles. 

Balancing Optimism and Realism:

A balanced approach involves being optimistic about the future while also being realistic about the challenges that lie ahead. 

It's important to be able to see both the potential for good and the potential for problems. 

This allows for a more effective and realistic approach to problem-solving. 

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Thu Mar 27, 2025 10:10 pm

Well, must say...., two things, Hallam....., firstly, thanks for that from "AI" , very interesting indeed. On reading it, I seem trapped between optimism & realism. :shock: Can't figure out which! :lol:

And secondly and MUCH more importantly, stop feeling sad this instant, lady!! That was not the intention of this thread!! I did say in brackets on the last paragraph, (sports related).
But NOTHING you wrote is new in the first paragraph. You described most people with all the hardships of life itself, so you must NEVER feel like a failure. Ok yes, your keyboard fails you on several buttons from time to time, but we all care enough to read more carefully and sus you out!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Never change, Hallam......, you are a "Hall of Famer" around these parts. <<<--- and that is VERY real.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by ITFC2024 » Thu Mar 27, 2025 10:21 pm

This is a very good discussion. Personally, I tend to try to not get too high or low about sports…and life in general. However, I do base my perceptions on the reality of a situation…based on facts. Sometimes I’m surprised and the outcome is optimistic while other times I am bitterly disappointed about the outcome and the negative connotations that follow. I do try to be optimistic until a point, but I also choose to be realistic based on actual events and probable outcomes.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by hallamblue » Thu Mar 27, 2025 10:23 pm

Lol, oh marko, that made me laugh out loud. My typos are infamous I'm afraid, and I'm always doing it. I'm sure its my not so smart, smart phone predicting words that I never normal text. (honest!).

I am well aware my own mindset, could...should be much better. It's something I battle with. But i ALWAYS want Town and individual players to win and do well, but sometimes I just can't see it happening so I default to the worst case scenario, probably as a safety mechanism, so if anything other than success happens, I consol myself ( I think), with the thoughts , "well, it was expected to end this way", which effectively lessens the hurt of disappointment. I hope that makes sense.....

The really weird thing is, in my job, where I'm trying treat people and make their lives better, I am ULTRA positive, and many patients say to me, I give them inspiration. Bloody annoying in a way, coz i should give myself a dose of self belief should I lol !!! :lol:

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Blue Wilf » Thu Mar 27, 2025 10:56 pm

I am generally an optimist but this season has dragged me down from some very high highs to really not caring about our season too much. I LOVED the last 3 years and even the covid years were Ok from a footy perspective. Yes we were in league 1 but it didn't matter as no-one cared that much. New grounds, winning games, whats not to like? Then came the PL and I knew I would hate it but was prepared to give it a go. I dod and was right - I hate it and all of my optimism about football had diminished. I now couldn't care less if I ho to all of the remaining games or not. I have never felt this way before! I just hope next season is a return to optimism and feeling part of something again cos this season (with very limited good points - Spurs away and Chelsea hone) has been a draining, bore fest from my perspective. Like I say - bring on the Championship - I can't wait!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by The Odious Mr Rossi » Fri Mar 28, 2025 9:42 am

I think that in many cases age will have a bearing on one's outlook. After all, it's not just a football thing, it's life in general.

As a young man in my teens and twenties I was an extremely oprimistic person - I always looked on the bright side and expected the best outcomes. As I grew older, I learned that my optimism led to frequent disappointments, so my outlook turned more and more from optimism to realism. That's called experience.

With the matchday poll in mind, correct me if I'm wrong but I think it's for forum members to say what they think the outcome of the match will be. So if I think that in a particular game we are going to get thumped, should I say to myself "oh, I think we'll lose butI won't vote for that because Marko won't like it"? I think not, surely the point of a forum is to say thins as I see them? :)

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Fri Mar 28, 2025 9:59 am

Have you ever been to a movie that everyone is raving about... you expect it to be amazing, but you left disappointed? Yeah... that's kind of my point when it comes to 'entertainment', high expectations lead to disappointment. That's why I always say it must suck to be Man U or Man C supporter, finishing 2nd-20th is a disaster and finishing 1st is like "Meh, I guess we made par again".

It's the beauty of supporting Ipswich... on paper we will always be underdogs at the top table, but those golden flushes of success we have from time to time, like the last couple of seasons... ecstasy.

My kind of thread this Marko and I really resonate with previous posts too. I guess our personalities carry through to how we follow sports, if you're a realist in 'real life', you're likely a realist when it comes to Town too. I'm with Hallam, fear of failure, softening the blow, I feel all that and it's true for me too, but if it makes me a realist, then I'll take it. In real life I don't like to bury my head in the sand and pretend things are ok, I think that can be dangerous, essentially lying to yourself that someone else will sort out a problem, or find a solution, and then... hey presto... looks like Germany control Austria and Czechoslovakia now! Looks like the US control Greenland and Canada now!

Oh, Ahem... sorry about that... back to sticking my head in the sand on that one.

So I try to temper my expectations, that way I get a nice surprise when they're surpassed. But I'm also not one of those who are always doom and gloom, just so they can say "I told you so" when something fails.

I'm also very jealous of optimists, Football is not life and death, so I would never criticise an optimist where I might in 'real life'. It must be nice being able to sleep at night without worries or negativity curling a thought turd out in your brain every 20 seconds!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:18 am

Think its an anonymous poll, Rossi :D 👍👌

Nice responses.

I do wish i’d reiterated that i was referring to sports mainly. :lol:

In real life, we ALL face things in our lives that we have to deal with head on and try our hardest to find any smidgeon of positivity. And i mean our own lives, ….. not the stuff with Trump and Brexit and all the other sh*te. We genuinely can only plod along with all that shyte.

But in sports…….. its GREAT when it all works out! Older ITFC fans can relate. And can also relate to failure, ie runners up to Liverpool & Aston Villa back in the day.

In my tight knit group of long time buddies, (4 of us) ….. one is Mr Doom! But he’s actually the best laugh!
“Ah well, thats that fkd. Celtic in the quarters! FUUUUUUCK!!!!”
“Nightmare aye, Graham. Fancy a pint!”

And with it being Hibs in my case; Graham is mostly the correct one. As no doubt (this season) a selected few on here will be the correct ones. But it can’t be satisfying being correct when its regarding failure.
I suppose that IS realism.

I must strive to be optimistic in all areas……. Or i’ll end up in the Andrew Duncan Clinic! :lol: 🤦‍♂️

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:25 am

Side note:

Very small addition to what negativity can produce.
Long story short. …… on the “one day heating installs” …., was a Glasgow Contract, on the very first morning……. Squad of 3 guys standing outside in front of a pallet of radiators, a boiler and a cylinder.
One of the guys said, “We need to get ALL THAT installed by tonight.”
That ended his employment :lol:
One of the guys came to me and said, “I cant work with that attitude. We need to all be on the same page!”
Had to have a gentle word and get him a job with another company.
No doom!!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:34 am

marko69 wrote:
Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:18 am
I do wish i’d reiterated that i was referring to sports mainly. :lol:
Apologies :lol: and I understood the assignment, but my point was... don't you think it's not a choice we can easily make? I can't just decide whether to be an optimist or a realist, it's ingrained from how we go about and view our day to day lives? I guess it's all a balance and we all find the point that sits right with us.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:14 pm

I think with sports is indeed a choice. In my opinion of course. I mean, in reality, at the end of the day, who really gives a fk? In all seriousness.
An example would be, any one of my kids or grandkids pop off their mortal coil before me, then i’m a mess until i pop off my own mortal coil……., must STRIVE to remain positive and be optimistic.
But Hibs , Ipswich, Tigers, Detroit Lions winning / losing, being relegated, being champions ? ….. i mean at the end the day, its all good or bad but mainly indifferent. So why not just be optimistic? 🤷‍♂️ :lol:

I realise it’s not as easy as that for some people. And we must’ve all learnt that from schooldays?
Who are old enough to remember when football was strictly 3pm saturday kick offs?
You’d go to school on Monday, (yes, i did go to school….. on Mondays) ….. and in registration on Monday morning you’d have a “Shieldo”.
Shieldo the Jambo. Sitting there all pi$$ed off.
“You ok, Shieldo?”
“Nut. Am no!”
“Aw sh*t. Whats up?”
“Gubbed at Tynecastle. Thats whats up!”
“You’ve had ALL SUNDAY to get over it you fat “who ate all the pies” jambo bstd.”
(You could fat shame in those days and get away with it)

Sometimes the “REALISM” can spill over and become “being a tw*t-ism” :lol:

Sorry…… all tongue in cheek but opinion based, honest!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:32 pm

marko69 wrote:
Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:14 pm
Sometimes the “REALISM” can spill over and become “being a tw*t-ism” :lol:
:lol:

I don't know whether you're kinda talking about positivity vs negativity though?

For me, in my head, I'd sum it up as:

Optimism: We're going to finish in the Champions League places this season woooooo! McKenna the messiah!!

Realism: We're going to be fighting for survival, if we stay up... great, if we go down... I hope we gave it a good go.

Pessimism: We're 100% going down, McKenna is out of his depth, Ashton is bankrupting the club, creme eggs are getting smaller.

Positivity: I don't care how we get on and have no expectations, I'm just going to enjoy the ride, it's great to be back in the Prem.

Negativity: What's the point, even if we stay up we're never going to compete with the big boys, the Prem is rubbish.

Optimism, realism, pessimism are about expectations, whereas positivity and negativity are more the general outlook someone has and the way they may react to disappointment or success?

I aim to be a positive realist myself :lol: :mrgreen:
Last edited by Ricco on Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:38 pm

Sorry, I keep duplicating posts. Who puts the EDIT button next to the QUOTE button?! :evil: :lol:

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:47 pm

Ricco wrote:
Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:32 pm
marko69 wrote:
Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:14 pm
Sometimes the “REALISM” can spill over and become “being a tw*t-ism” :lol:
:lol:

I don't know whether you're kinda talking about positivity vs negativity though?

For me, in my head, I'd sum it up as:

Optimism: We're going to finish in the Champions League places this season woooooo! McKenna the messiah!!

Realism: We're going to be fighting for survival, if we stay up... great, if we go down... I hope we gave it a good go.

Pessimism: We're 100% going down, McKenna is out of his depth, Ashton is bankrupting the club, creme eggs are getting smaller.

Positivity: I don't care how we get on and have no expectations, I'm just going to enjoy the ride, it's great to be back in the Prem.

Negativity: What's the point, even if we stay up we're never going to compete with the big boys, the Prem is rubbish.

Optimism, realism, pessimism are about expectations, whereas positivity and negativity are more the general outlook someone has and the way they may react to disappointment or success?

I aim to be a positive realist myself :lol: :mrgreen:
You’ve fried my brain with this! KNEW i should’ve went to school on Wednesday afternoons for double philosophy! :lol:

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Fri Mar 28, 2025 1:08 pm

marko69 wrote:
Fri Mar 28, 2025 12:47 pm
You’ve fried my brain with this! KNEW i should’ve went to school on Wednesday afternoons for double philosophy! :lol:
Sorry about that, I'll keep it to more Soccer, less Socrates? :lol:

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Fri Mar 28, 2025 2:04 pm

Original Socrates? Or Spain ‘82 Socrates? Because I’m STILL not over that. Worse than Fat Shieldo!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by mendipblue » Sat Mar 29, 2025 2:12 am

It's easy to work out really. An optimist, if he fell in a barrel of sh*t, he would hope he would come up smelling of roses? Where a realist if he fell in a barrel of sh*t, he knows he is going to come up smelling of sh*t. 🤷‍♂️ I hope this helps 🙏

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Sat Mar 29, 2025 8:08 am

Very optimistic that the above post ^^^^^^^ is total sh!t. :lol: Although, judging by the time of the post, I reckon Mendip was pished and actually fell in a barrel of sh!t. And you just did not smell like roses eh??

Seriously though, what a strange outlook. You angry most of the time? Kieron is not THAT bad is he?

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by The Odious Mr Rossi » Sat Mar 29, 2025 12:28 pm

I wonder why anybody would be clumsy enough to fall into a barrel of sh*t.

The only barrel size I know of that would be big enough to completely cover a person if they fell in is a Tun, but I'm struggling to see any situation in which a person might fall into one.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Ricco » Sat Mar 29, 2025 2:49 pm

The Odious Mr Rossi wrote:
Sat Mar 29, 2025 12:28 pm
I'm struggling to see any situation in which a person might fall into one.
Spoken like a true optimist!!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by mendipblue » Sun Mar 30, 2025 12:18 am

marko69 wrote:
Sat Mar 29, 2025 8:08 am
Very optimistic that the above post ^^^^^^^ is total sh!t. :lol: Although, judging by the time of the post, I reckon Mendip was pished and actually fell in a barrel of sh!t. And you just did not smell like roses eh??

Seriously though, what a strange outlook. You angry most of the time? Kieron is not THAT bad is he?
Nope not pissed 😅 the time is down to the fact I'm in Thailand which is 7 hours ahead of UK 🤷‍♂️

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Sun Mar 30, 2025 11:25 am

Got to be optimistic that all is ok with you & Co in Thailand after the very real & tragic Earthquake in neighbouring Myanmar.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by mendipblue » Sun Mar 30, 2025 11:33 am

marko69 wrote:
Sun Mar 30, 2025 11:25 am
Got to be optimistic that all is ok with you & Co in Thailand after the very real & tragic Earthquake in neighbouring Myanmar.
Yep all good. Fortunately for me im a 9 hour drive away but not so fortunate for those people in Bangkok and Myanmar🙏

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by Mauswara » Sun Mar 30, 2025 12:16 pm

Optimism is the only way, the glass is always half full.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Sun Mar 30, 2025 3:45 pm

mendipblue wrote:
Sun Mar 30, 2025 11:33 am

Yep all good. Fortunately for me im a 9 hour drive away but not so fortunate for those people in Bangkok and Myanmar🙏
👍👍👌
Mauswara wrote:
Sun Mar 30, 2025 12:16 pm
Optimism is the only way, the glass is always half full.
But a total nightmare when it’s halfway through the nicest pint you’ve ever had!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by hallamblue » Sun Mar 30, 2025 6:10 pm

......and there's only one person serving behind the bar in a packed pub! :lol:

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Sun Mar 30, 2025 7:40 pm

hallamblue wrote:
Sun Mar 30, 2025 6:10 pm
......and there's only one person serving behind the bar in a packed pub! :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: Awww yes! NIGHTMARE!!

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by arana peligrosa » Sat Apr 05, 2025 11:36 pm

Is this here thread still valid. Let's not f*ck around the only thing remaining after today is realism.

In that we're going back to second league level at the first attempt. I tried to be optimistic (about potential league salvation) after the Bournemouth win and weeks leading up to it but today's setback just hit home a certain acceptance we're going to drop top league status and start back at Championship level from August. Yeah sure there's the obligatory mathematic chance the team could still make it or salvage the season but it's for those with their heads in their as* or too proud to confirm the situation like it is.

This has maybe gone off on a tangent someplace as perhaps it's not what the original discussion pertains to but right off the bat, and following today, are you optimistic about our chances or immediate future or (the) realism that we're done for. That's the answer, that's what you can read into it or put together here.

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Re: Is Optimism the way? Or is realism really the answer?

Post by marko69 » Sun Apr 06, 2025 1:42 pm

Optimistic that certain people round these parts won’t pee their Y-Fronts about the forthcoming summer window pre-Championship season.

Very much REAL that they will.

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