Relationships

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

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number 9
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Relationships

Post by number 9 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 1:35 am

So I just moved into an apartment/flat whatever...there’s an Asian woman who lives upstairs. I’ve smelled her stir fry: she’s a hot as oil momma, trust me. So, my question is should I make contact? She appears to be single. Should I give her a wink when I’m unloading groceries from the car? Should I proclaim in public she’s a very good driver? I’m just a bit out of practice. Hallam what do you think I should do?

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marko69
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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:18 am

number 9 wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 1:35 am
Should I proclaim in public she’s a very good driver?
That’s taking it too far, 9. You want her to like you. Don’t bullshit her!

tangfastic
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Re: Relationships

Post by tangfastic » Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:44 am

I’m interested to know Hallam’s answer to this.

Seeing as she’s got auto correct issues when typing, she could advise you to give her a w*nk whilst unloading your gross p****.

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Re: Relationships

Post by tangfastic » Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:48 am

tangfastic wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:44 am
I’m interested to know Hallam’s answer to this.

Seeing as she’s got auto correct issues when typing, she could advise you to give her a w*nk whilst unloading your gross p****.
Can’t believe the word p£nis is censored. That’s also w@nk, not wink. What a sensitive lot some people are.

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 1:19 pm

Yes I'm still waiting Hallam...any advice for me? :D

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Bluemike
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Re: Relationships

Post by Bluemike » Sat Jun 01, 2019 2:15 pm

Yes deffo contact her, tell her every time you smell that lush aroma wafting down the stairs it makes you fancy an Indian every night, that will break the ice one way or another. Banker result !!!

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Andym
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Re: Relationships

Post by Andym » Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:29 pm

A mate of mine used the very subtle chat-up line, "Fancy a f*ck?"

He got a few slaps and punches in the face, but occasionally he got lucky.

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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:49 pm

Andym wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:29 pm
A mate of mine used the very subtle chat-up line, "Fancy a f*ck?"

He got a few slaps and punches in the face, but occasionally he got lucky.
😂😂😂 👍👍👍

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:05 pm

That may have worked in my 20s Andym, but it’s probably a bit presumptuous now! :D

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Andym
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Re: Relationships

Post by Andym » Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:33 pm

number 9 wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:05 pm
That may have worked in my 20s Andym, but it’s probably a bit presumptuous now! :D
😂😂😂

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BLUEBLOOD
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Re: Relationships

Post by BLUEBLOOD » Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:00 pm

Tell her you love Asian food your favourite dish is Sixty Nine and would she like to join you.

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marko69
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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:41 pm

BLUEBLOOD wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:00 pm
....your favourite dish is Sixty Nine.....
Sorry buddy. Can’t speak for 9, but I don’t bat for that team. Not that there is anything wrong with that team.

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:14 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:41 pm
BLUEBLOOD wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:00 pm
....your favourite dish is Sixty Nine.....
Sorry buddy. Can’t speak for 9, but I don’t bat for that team. Not that there is anything wrong with that team.
Once again maybe when I was in my 20s, but now I’d probably throw my back out. :D

So, does anyone else have a relationship story they’d like to share? It might make the off season a little easier to bear.

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Re: Relationships

Post by nicscreamer » Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:41 pm

I separated from my wife 7 years ago. It took me 4 or 5 years to get over it, although I didn’t realise that till recently. I have one son who’s just finishing his first year at uni , and him leaving was mega tough. But I’ve now got a new partner, and I’ve just bought a season ticket with my 17 year old other son so we can spend Saturdays watching town. I’ve also now got a 6 year old step son, and life couldn’t be better.
Any separation is tough and takes time to overcome. It’s realising that it will take time that makes it possible to get through it and come out the other side in a better place.
Life can and does get better, and I’ve never been happier.

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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:19 am

Relation-SHIPS? They f**king sink. And they take the f**king kitchen SINK with them.

Start the "Be Prepared" thread.

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 1:49 am

Not sure the Asian woman is gonna work out. I said Watcha Mate! And she said half past five! I’ll keep you all updated.

Well done Niscreamer! Good for you. I’m not sure I can inherit La Familia at the moment, although I seem to be a magnet for the divorcées with kids. :lol:

Like Marko says, time to ‘ship out!

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:09 am

I think I’ve finally figured out what a woman experiences during the dreaded period. Imagine lads, you’re finally starting to make an impression on your local football team...you’re scoring goals...setting up your mates...and suddenly in a match against the local rival...you pull up with a Fukn hamstring tear! As a result, you’re probably bitchy, angry for no reason...you have a headache...you’re certainly not in the mood for sex(well maybe), and everything about your partner pisses you off...that stupid telephone voice!

So when the ladies in your lives are in a similar predicament...give them some love. We understand. :lol:

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 4:31 am

I’m surprised there haven’t been more hits on this thread. I envisioned stories of Charnwood’s hair blowing in the wind as his yacht pulled up to a shoal in the Mediterranean. I anticipated tales of Bluemike getting lucky on a road trip to Millwall. I thought Marko would describe installing a boiler with a lass looking on in her nickers. I’m sure Tang & Blueblood can credit their epiphany’s in WST to a grand release! Maybe! Most importantly, I’m waiting with baited breath to hear about Saint’s latest hot momma conquest. You know the lady’s love the dark boys.

Whatever I’m done.

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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:44 am

:lol: ^^^ superb post. Every morning should start with having a laugh like that. ^

Not a million miles away from the truth for me. I was 23 years old, woman was about 35 ish. I was changing a radiator in the bedroom. When I got there, she offered a cup of coffee and I proceeded into the bedroom. There were about 5 pairs of knickers on the radiator. She walked in with the coffee.
I said, "Would it be ok if you take your pants off?"
"WHAT?"
Pointing -----> "off the radiator"

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Frosty
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Re: Relationships

Post by Frosty » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:44 am

If the thread had been entitled 'Sheep' as a kiwi I may have taken more interest! :wink:

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marko69
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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:56 am

Certainly would’ve attracted some Aberdeen fans.

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Re: Relationships

Post by nicscreamer » Thu Jun 13, 2019 9:30 am

marko69 wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:44 am
:lol: ^^^ superb post. Every morning should start with having a laugh like that. ^

Not a million miles away from the truth for me. I was 23 years old, woman was about 35 ish. I was changing a radiator in the bedroom. When I got there, she offered a cup of coffee and I proceeded into the bedroom. There were about 5 pairs of knickers on the radiator. She walked in with the coffee.
I said, "Would it be ok if you take your pants off?"
"WHAT?"
Pointing -----> "off the radiator"
Reminds me of the old joke...

" Hey gorgeous, can I smell your pussy?"
"What NO , that's disgusting!!"
"Oh, ok, it must be your feet then"

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:51 am

How could I forget Frosty & Niscreamer! Those two strapping lads must have many a tale to tell: Niscreamer serenading his groupies in the back stages while on tour; Frosty flirting with hobbits and elves on the shores of God’s country, and of course the sheep. Oh Lordy the sheep!

Who am I forgetting...?

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:13 am

...Ohio dressing up in a policeman’s uniform with the bum cut out for those bachelorette parties (to make some extra dosh).

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marko69
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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:23 pm

Image

tangfastic
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Re: Relationships

Post by tangfastic » Thu Jun 13, 2019 4:41 pm

Maybe about 9 or 10 years ago between relationships, I did the internet dating thing for a year or two. That was interesting at times. I did meet a couple of nice women (with kids) through that and went out with them for a while.. but kind of petered out. The internet dating thing was a bit hit or miss... more misses than hits, but it was fun at times. There was some weird ones... Sarah-Louise from Chester who was attractive, but flakey as hell... one day I get a phone call from some irate bloke asking “have you been f**king my girlfriend”.... It’s no easy thing to tell a bloke you had been inadvertently intimate with his girlfriend and that was the last I saw of Sarah-Louise. Or the one who invited me over as an overnight guest after a month or so of texting and was overly insistent that I didn’t wear a condom.... and finally admitted she just wanted to get pregnant. That date ended quickly. Or the one I met up with who’d used a 20 year old soft-focus photo as her profile ... that was a disappointment. Not sure I want to do internet dating again as people tend to exaggerate or lie their arses off.

Number 9 mentioned he’s a magnet for single mothers..... TBH after I hit thirty there wasn’t many available single girls or ones that I wanted to meet, so I tended to hook up with single mothers in the end. Not through choice, but it just happened that way and if the kids are nice.... it’s fine.

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marko69
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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 4:51 pm

Bloody hell. I posted a clip from "Friends".....,, sounds like you're living real life "Friends", Tang Tribbiani!

Irate bloke: "Have you been f**king my girlfriend?"
Correct answer: "Oh no, not at all. I'm f**king her right now, buddy."

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Re: Relationships

Post by tangfastic » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:10 pm

Marko, If there was any tomfoolery from my end, then it’s more than likely in the past. I tended to be the unwitting, but often enthuastic, victim. Number 9 has been desperately trying to get this thread moving... just trying to help out :)

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number 9
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Re: Relationships

Post by number 9 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:54 pm

No pun intended, Tang! :D

Have to admit I had a stint with the online dating years ago. I dated this nympho soccer mom for a couple weeks. Christ, the wind could blow and she’d moan! I had to break it off...I couldn’t keep up with her. I was drinking more Gatorade than beer.

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Re: Relationships

Post by marko69 » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:51 am

Just need to walk in the front door wearing work boots......... you should hear the wife moan.

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