Blond Shoes

[Tractor Girl 1980]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out
and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the
young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper
watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[budgiebasher]

lol!!!

[wicked blue]

LOL very good, i have a few more blond jokes, cant think why i keep getting sent them sorry its all over the place, why are mails like that anyway??



AUTO REPAIR
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
> >mechanic
> > > > > >it
> > > > > >died.
> > > > > >> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
> >She
> > > > > >says,
> > > > > >> "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> SPEEDING TICKET
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
> > > > > >nicely if
> > > > > >he
> > > > > >> could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
> >would
> > > > > >get
> > > > > >> your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
> > > > > >then today
> > > > > >> you expect me to show it to you!"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> EXPOSURE
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and
> her
> > > > > >right
> > > > > >> breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says,
> "Ma'am,
> > > > > >are you
> > > > > >> aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says,
> >"Why,
> > > > > >> officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." he says. She
> >looks
> > > > > >down
> > > > > >and
> > > > > >> says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> RIVER WALK
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
> sees
> > > > > >another
> > > > > >> blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
> > > > > >get to the
> > > > > >> other side?"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
> > > > > >shouts back,
> > > > > >> "You ARE on the other side."
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> KNITTING
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
> > > > > >freeway.
> > > > > >> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
> > > > > >behind the
> > > > > >> wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
> >flashing
> > > > > >lights
> > > > > >> and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
> > > > > >bullhorn and
> > > > > >> yelled, "PULL OVER!"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
> > > > > >Russian
> > > > > >> said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were
>
> >the
> > > > > >first
> > > > > >> on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the
> > > > > >first on
> > > > > >the
> > > > > >> sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
> > > > > >shook their
> > > > > >> heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"
> >said
> > > > > >the
> > > > > >> Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
> >know.
> > > > > >We're
> > > > > >> going at night!"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> IN A VACUUM
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
> turn.
> >She
> > > > > >rolled
> > > > > >> the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
> >"If
> > > > > >you are
> > > > > >> in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She
> > > > > >thought for
> > > > > >> a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> FINAL EXAM
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> The blonde reported for her university final examination that
> > > > > >consists of
> > > > > >> yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination
> >hall,
> > > > > >stares
> > > > > >> at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of
> > > > > >inspiration,
> > > > > >> takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the
> coin,
> > > > > >marking
> > > > > >> the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within
> half
> >an
> > > > > >hour
> > > > > >> she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still
> sweating
> >it
> > > > out.
> > > > > >> During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing
> the
> > > > > >coin,
> > > > > >> muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her
> > > > > >and asks
> > > > > >> what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now
>
> >I'm
> > > > > >> rechecking my answers."
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so
> > > > > >she decided
> > > > > >> to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local
> park,
> > > > > >grabbed a
> > > > > >> little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have
> > > > > >kidnapped
> > > > > >> your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big
> oak
> > > > > >tree in
> > > > > >> the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde. She pinned the
> > > > > >note inside
> > > > > >> the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The
> >next
> > > > > >morning,
> > > > > >> she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag
> >behind
> > > > > >the big
> > > > > >> oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the
> > > > > >following
> > > > > >> note....Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde
> >would
> > > > > >do this
> > > > > >> to another

[Susie]

Why am I laughing. I'm blonde.

[budgiebasher]

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so
> > > > > >she decided
> > > > > >> to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local
> park,
> > > > > >grabbed a
> > > > > >> little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have
> > > > > >kidnapped
> > > > > >> your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big
> oak
> > > > > >tree in
> > > > > >> the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde. She pinned the
> > > > > >note inside
> > > > > >> the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The
> >next
> > > > > >morning,
> > > > > >> she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag
> >behind
> > > > > >the big
> > > > > >> oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the
> > > > > >following
> > > > > >> note....Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde
> >would
> > > > > >do this
> > > > > >> to another