It's a beautiful, warm, spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo.
She's wearing a cute, loose fitting; almost see through, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large, hairy gorilla.
Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand.
The husband, noticing the gorilla's excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
"Now try lifting your dress up and flashing your beaver." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy, and now he's doing flips and has a hard-on like a baseball bat.
Then the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you've got a f***ing headache."
A joke that I was just sent...
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A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some.
"How hard is it?" she asked.
"About as hard as my d*ck," he replies.
To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"
....
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part." He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.
The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
"I touched a man's private parts." He told her to wash her hands in holy water.
Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.
The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to wash her as* in it."
"How hard is it?" she asked.
"About as hard as my d*ck," he replies.
To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"
....
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part." He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.
The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
"I touched a man's private parts." He told her to wash her hands in holy water.
Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.
The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to wash her as* in it."
