MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Post by **marko69** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:10 am

Ok, my ball has been hit....., it ricocheted off an old dears tartan trolley and landed on the green. Looking good for my first par.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:11 am

marko69 wrote:Ok, while you were arguing there about the Effin sugar, An old bloke asked if I saw the fog earlier....., told him I mist it.

brilliant shot Sir. Mikey to take Frosties shot

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:30 am

Mikey, its your shot for Frosty, please take it seriously this time.
yes I think the number 3 iron should do. i'll place the ball for you.
there you go. Pepsi ....DUCK.....
Whoooooosh. bang. unlucky Mikey how did I know that was an explosive golf ball.
take the shot again Sir when you get up.
OK you place your own ball.

Whoooosh
Brilliant shot Mikey. yes that is the bar window you hit, think i'll just go and wait on the green.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:34 am

........................................................................................................

Post by **marko69** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:06 pm

Hey Minsh, is that Demarara chasing Mikey over there? I wonder if he said something about her watery scrambled eggs. I know, they were indeed fkn disgusting. She obviously didn't use Danone milk. Ok, hand me my putter please.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:31 pm

marko69 wrote:Hey Minsh, is that Demarara chasing Mikey over there? I wonder if he said something about her watery scrambled eggs. I know, they were indeed fkn disgusting. She obviously didn't use Danone milk. Ok, hand me my putter please.

hang on Marco its Charnwoods tee off first.

Charnwood Tee's off and sliced the ball and it lands in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise,it started to speak! "Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week." He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket. As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message. "Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month!" Charnwood continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out. "Kiss me,and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year!" Finally, Charnood turned to the frog and exclaimed, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

Nice shot Charnood, your in that water hazard,. your shot again.

What's that sign next to that pond. it says buy 5 balls and get a club free. that's a great deal, ask your talking frog what's that all about Charnwood, the frog says " Well every time on average 5 balls land in this pond a club lands in it shortly after.

Nice shot Charnood your on the green,

Post by **marko69** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:29 pm

FECKIN HURRY UP, KERMIT...... I WANNAE PUTT!!

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:44 pm

marko69 wrote:FECKIN HURRY UP, KERMIT...... I WANNAE PUTT!!

Ribbit Ribbit. its Mikey's shot for Frosty from the public bar. small problem or probably for the best, the bar is shut till 11.30am.
We either wait till 11.30am or take that window out (I mean carefully Marco) not the Edinburgh way of taking windows out.

to late I was thinking of putting the window back after the shot. perhaps they wont notice

. Mikey get in there and hit the ball out before anyone see's you. Mikey the ball is over here not behind the bar, oh gotcha, you need that case of Bells to stand on, that's sounds ok. so why do you need that case of vodka, put it back.

Nice shot Mikie but that was a pool ball. try that one here. WOW that's on the green.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:55 pm

Its finally my second shot, 120yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi, can you hold the flag Marco please.
no Marco I mean hold the flag over the hole not in the bunker

, Pepsi go and hold the flag.

FORE................ yes pepsi very funny, it was suppose to go near the green so put the flag back.
My 3rd Shot.....130 yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi,
FORE................Wow that was more than lucky it hit the flag and stopped on the green.
Pepsi wake up this is no time to sleep. what's that bump on your head,

Your Putt. Marco.

Post by **marko69** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:11 pm

goldandblack wrote:Its finally my second shot, 120yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi, can you hold the flag Marco please.
no Marco I mean hold the flag over the hole not in the bunker , Pepsi go and hold the flag.

FORE................ yes pepsi very funny, it was suppose to go near the green so put the flag back.
My 3rd Shot.....130 yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi,
FORE................Wow that was more than lucky it hit the flag and stopped on the green.
Pepsi wake up this is no time to sleep. what's that bump on your head,

Your Putt. Marco.

Sorry, mate......, I putted out yonks ago, couldn't be arsed waiting. Ive been in the Edinburgh Castle pub on St Andrews High Street having a few nips. ......., that mustve been my evil twin, Marko "sexual position" 69 holding that flag. Hopefully he doesn't stick around too long. You think i'm bad? He's a serious headcase. He is fascinated with Ping balls, so if you've got some, hide them

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:20 pm

marko69 wrote:
goldandblack wrote:Its finally my second shot, 120yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi, can you hold the flag Marco please.
no Marco I mean hold the flag over the hole not in the bunker , Pepsi go and hold the flag.

FORE................ yes pepsi very funny, it was suppose to go near the green so put the flag back.
My 3rd Shot.....130 yd chip with the chipping wedge Pepsi. thank you Pepsi,
FORE................Wow that was more than lucky it hit the flag and stopped on the green.
Pepsi wake up this is no time to sleep. what's that bump on your head,

Your Putt. Marco.

Sorry, mate......, I putted out yonks ago, couldn't be arsed waiting. Ive been in the Edinburgh Castle pub on St Andrews High Street having a few nips. ......., that mustve been my evil twin, Marko "sexual position" 69 holding that flag. Hopefully he doesn't stick around too long. You think i'm bad? He's a serious headcase. He is fascinated with Ping balls, so if you've got some, hide them

PEPSI. HIDE THOSE PING PONG BALLS QUICK.

well done Marco you done it in par.I just knew you'd come good. do you know why they call it a PUTTER and not a PUTER.

Post by **marko69** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:25 pm

Hey....., I can't cheat. It was no par. When I was about to putt, Minsh screamed and I got a fright......., putted it off the green. Got back in 3 though. so work that score out? I can't, had too many Ernies!

Oh yeah...., why did Minsh scream? Apparently the organisers are worried about Frosty, so they were handing out photos. A course official handed Minsh a photo of Frosty just as I was about to feckin putt. Bad move.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:34 pm

marko69 wrote:Hey....., I can't cheat. It was no par. When I was about to putt, Minsh screamed and I got a fright......., putted it off the green. Got back in 3 though. so work that score out? I can't, had too many Ernies!

Oh yeah...., why did Minsh scream? Apparently the organisers are worried about Frosty, so they were handing out photos. A course official handed Minsh a photo of Frosty just as I was about to feckin putt. Bad move.

very honourable of you Marco, but if we are going to tell the truth my first tee shot went out of bounds, you'd think with all that money St Andrews have they would buy more land so it didn't.

my putt. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. oh dear. Mikey whys that mole in the hole, it just chucked my ball out again, and I think its got a bit of an attitude. does that count..

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:47 pm

goldandblack wrote:
goldandblack wrote:2nd Hole.
2nd Hole Scores
1... No 9.......... 5 shots
2....Charnwood..5 shots
3....Marco ........4 shots
4....G&B........... 4. shots
5.... Frosty........5.shots

LEADER BOARD after 2 holes..

1...No 9....... 8............
2...Charnood. 9 ...........
3...Marco......10...........
4...G&B.........10...........
5 fROSTY...... 12..........

........................................................................................................

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:58 pm

HOLE..... 3.....370 yrds Par 4. wind 5mph right to left.

Order of play

1...No 9.......
2...Charnood.
3...Marco......
4...G&B.........
5 Frosty.......

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 4:25 pm

look Frosty has finally turned up by boat.

good shot marco

Post by **marko69** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:38 pm

Hahaha! Nice one.

That's not him though. Last I heard he'd made it to Marseilles and hired an Audi. He's been bombing it up the hard shoulder being chased by 15 French police squad cars. Come on, Frosty, you can do it ma son. I bet he will be in St Andrews before you can say, "Oui Garçon, vous allez en prison."

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:56 pm

marko69 wrote:Hahaha! Nice one.

That's not him though. Last I heard he'd made it to Marseilles and hired an Audi. He's been bombing it up the hard shoulder being chased by 15 French police squad cars. Come on, Frosty, you can do it ma son. I bet he will be in St Andrews before you can say, "Oui Garçon, vous allez en prison."

if that's not our Frosty it must have been Spike back from his day trip to France. now what are we going to do for our cigs.

ok Charnwood, yes we know its your tee off'

good luck

oh great shot Sir,there's no need to lose your temper. it could happen to any of us . snigger snigger.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 12:10 am

No 9s Tee Off..
good luck

watch that tree,

yes that tree..

Post by **marko69** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:01 am

they ^^^ are brilliant. Unlucky hitting that tree, 9! Hope the family jewels are ok. Ouch!

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:52 pm

marko69 wrote: they ^^^ are brilliant. Unlucky hitting that tree, 9! Hope the family jewels are ok. Ouch!

well I did warn him aye,

look over there at that old man on sitting that bench sobbing
i'll go over and ask him what's wrong.
Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm just so in love with my twenty-five-year-old wife."
"What's wrong with that?" I ask.
Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You can't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, she cooks me breakfast and kisses me and tells me she loves me ... at lunchtime she comes home and embraces me warmly, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home with ice cream, the best an old man could want. And then after a gourmet supper, she gives me a warm bath, and cuddles up with me all night."
He breaks down, no longer able to speak.
. "Oh, I think I see - I bet you just found out she's with you for your money?"
"No," the old man answers through his sobbing and tears, "I forgot where I live."

Well I only asked, there was no need to get violent old man OUCH

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:08 pm

I'll take my shot ok. Spikes invented this new hi tec driver, pass me the new wood Pepsi please, what you mean you cant reach it.
Oh see what you mean Pepsi. I'll get it.
Spike, is this legal, why have you got all that computer gear there for.
Well here goes,
FORE, WOW where did that go Spike, why's that plane up there got smoke coming out of it.
I think we've could have brought down the 4.30 from Dublin to Denmark. Is Denmark out of bounds Marco.

Remember you saying Charnwood has played golf all over Europe, well so have I now. lol

Post by **marko69** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 5:54 pm

That old man didnae miss ye there, Wolfie!

...,, ouch indeed!

That driver is awesome, but you've smashed Floors front window!

Seriously though, great for stinking bstds with BO..... "Here, use this ya minger, go hit the ball from waaay over there!"

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:06 pm

marko69 wrote:That old man didnae miss ye there, Wolfie! ...,, ouch indeed!

That driver is awesome, but you've smashed Floors front window!
Seriously though, great for stinking bstds with BO..... "Here, use this ya minger, go hit the ball from waaay over there!"

Well it apparently landed on that plane which caused damage to the undercarriage so the plane made an emergency landing in Lerwick. on Shetland. which means my 2nd shot is about 350 miles to the green. Pepsi pass me my turbo rocket number 1 wood which was made by the one and only Spike,,,, I think I can do this. can you hold the flag Marco.

Right here goes. Hope this thing is safe Spike

Text to Marco...Did you see where that landed Marco. actually has it landed, ...over....

Post by **marko69** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:38 pm

Too funny.

..... It's like Monty Python humour this.

Ok, wolfie......, the ball has went in the hole, but some black dude in a red Nike polo shirt is taking all the credit. You know him?

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:44 pm

marko69 wrote:Too funny. ..... It's like Monty Python humour this.

Ok, wolfie......, the ball has went in the hole, but some black dude in a red Nike polo shirt is taking all the credit. You know him?

he looks familiar aye, think he's the plumber working on my house while i'm away. the wife say's he's doing a good job.

can you have a word with your caddy Madame X to stop mucking about, she could have taking someone's eye out.

Your Shot Sir.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Wed Nov 06, 2013 2:17 pm

Well I just got a message from the man who decides on complicated shots, and after considerable looking into the rule book he claims my 350 mile shot was deemed not only out of bounds, but with a club not allowed on a golf course, ( Spike is devastated). plus the club I tee'd off with was also a club not allowed on a golf course. ( Spike is again devastated).
luckily enough that bloke with the red Polo Shirt who claimed it was his shot has now been banned from St Andrews.

all he kept saying as " don't you know who I am "

Right pass me the no 1 wood Pepsi,
FORE, think that went well, looks like it stopped just on the edge of that pond.

Pepsy have you noticed that rusling noise coming from those bushes over there, seems like we are being watched.

your shot Marco.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:05 pm

Message from our Sponcer on there new product. DANIO.

New Danioa super thick, super tasty yogurt over a layer of delicious fruit on the bottom

Danio is a super thick, super tasty strained yogurt with a hidden layer of delicious fruit compote. Not only is it 0% fat and low fat and high in protein, each of the six mouth-watering fruit flavours comes in a generous 160g single pot.

The secret behind danio's super thickness is that it's made to Danone’s strained yogurt recipe which uses more milk than standard yogurts to make it amazingly thick and high in protein

Post by **Frosty** » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:45 pm

Great news ..... I have just landed in that beautiful English port of Marseille.

A lots happened since I arrived in that former Soviet Socialist republic.

On arrival I had my wallet confiscated because it apparently having money is not allowed..... luckily it was only the Euro so it wasn't actually worth that much.

Ended up getting thrown out the country for 'soliciting' ...... I had no Idea practising as a lawyer was illegal.

Traded my golf shoes for a donkey and trekked all the way into Israel on the bloody thing .... arrived in Nazareth to a huge greeting ... have no idea what the big deal was.

Travelled across North Africa on various UN Aid convoys making a small fortune trading various donated goods with local armed militias.

I stowed away on a ship leaving Tunisia with 876 North African illegal immigrents who were also making their way to France .... ended up having to swim the last 3 kilometres.

Will no doubt be joining you on the fairways any day now.

goldandblack · Post by **goldandblack** » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:48 pm

frostynz wrote:Great news ..... I have just landed in that beautiful English port of Marseille.

A lots happened since I arrived in that former Soviet Socialist republic.

On arrival I had my wallet confiscated because it apparently having money is not allowed..... luckily it was only the Euro so it wasn't actually worth that much.

Ended up getting thrown out the country for 'soliciting' ...... I had no Idea practising as a lawyer was illegal.

Traded my golf shoes for a donkey and trekked all the way into Israel on the bloody thing .... arrived in Nazareth to a huge greeting ... have no idea what the big deal was.

Travelled across North Africa on various UN Aid convoys making a small fortune trading various donated goods with local armed militias.

I stowed away on a ship leaving Tunisia with 876 North African illegal immigrents who were also making their way to France .... ended up having to swim the last 3 kilometres.

Will no doubt be joining you on the fairways any day now.

well your not exactly putting yourself out to get here,

Tractor-Boys.com

MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf

Re: MARCO.You up for a game of golf