JOKES

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

Moderators: marko69, Bluemike, Charnwood

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marko69
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Re: JOKES

Post by marko69 » Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:59 am

A judge says to a man before him in the court, "Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?"
Half under his breath, the man says., “F**k all."
The judge asks the clerk "What did he say?"
The clerk replied, "He said f**k all my lord."
"Oh. I thought I saw his lips move.”

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nicscreamer
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Re: JOKES

Post by nicscreamer » Thu Nov 29, 2018 10:39 am

A Russian Female weight lifter went to the doctors....

Her - Doctor, ive been taking steroids and now I have grown a c*ck!
Doc - Oh no, Anabolic?
Her - No, just a c*ck

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Frosty
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Re: JOKES

Post by Frosty » Thu Nov 29, 2018 11:14 am

nicscreamer wrote:
Thu Nov 29, 2018 10:39 am
A Russian Female weight lifter went to the doctors....

Her - Doctor, ive been taking steroids and now I have grown a c*ck!
Doc - Oh no, Anabolic?
Her - No, just a c*ck
Hahaha

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nicscreamer
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Re: JOKES

Post by nicscreamer » Thu Nov 29, 2018 11:22 am

I thought I had to post something funny to lighten the mood after last night :-)

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number 9
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Re: JOKES

Post by number 9 » Thu Nov 29, 2018 5:46 pm

LOL! Good one!

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marko69
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Re: JOKES

Post by marko69 » Thu Nov 29, 2018 9:41 pm

nicscreamer wrote:
Thu Nov 29, 2018 10:39 am
A Russian Female weight lifter went to the doctors....

Her - Doctor, ive been taking steroids and now I have grown a c*ck!
Doc - Oh no, Anabolic?
Her - No, just a c*ck
:lol: Superb!

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number 9
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Re: JOKES

Post by number 9 » Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:10 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogvuGcmUffs

Thought this was funny...it really makes me want a 'Pussepsi"!

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Re: JOKES

Post by nicscreamer » Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:46 am

A couple of young lads in my town have been hospitalised after snorting curry powder!!!!

One is in a korma, the other now has a dodgy tikka

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Re: JOKES

Post by marko69 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:27 pm

Holy fuuuuk, ^^^^^ I laughed out loud! :lol:

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Re: JOKES

Post by marko69 » Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:19 pm

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean
all go to a nightclub ..................................
The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

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Re: JOKES

Post by nicscreamer » Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:08 pm

omg!!!! Hilarious but too long winded to say "live"

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