JOKES

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

Moderators: marko69, Bluemike, Charnwood

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goldandblack
Posts: 4162
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: JOKES

Post by goldandblack » Sun May 02, 2021 8:39 pm

A friend of Prince Harry asked why he wanted out of the royal family.
Harry said “well my granny killed my mom, my uncle is a nonce, but worst of all my brother is a ****ing Villa fan”
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Liverpool 4-0 Barcelona
the last time a second leg was thrown like that in Liverpool, was when Paul McCartney had a row with Heather Mills.
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A wolves fan on his death bed tells his family he wishes to switch his allegiance to the baggies!! They ask what the he'll for? Cos when I'm gone it'll be one less of the *******.
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In an interview after the game on Monday, Jack Grealish said that Villa weren’t far off being a very good side, and predicted a top four challenge next season - although he admitted the away games at Charlton and Wigan will be pretty tough
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User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 4162
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: JOKES

Post by goldandblack » Tue May 04, 2021 7:33 pm

The bomb squad was called today to the Sandwell Town centre
where a suspicious unidentified package was found.
After 6hs the bomb disposal expert radioed in saying
he’d never seen the likes of this in Sandwell before.
The Sargent asked what it was, and is it safe now,
he replied it was a worker’s pay packet Sir.

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goldandblack
Posts: 4162
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: JOKES

Post by goldandblack » Fri May 14, 2021 7:42 pm

Reckless Driver An Aston Villa fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Baggies supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious West Brom jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Baggies supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that West Brom supporter." "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 4162
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: JOKES

Post by goldandblack » Mon May 17, 2021 9:51 pm

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
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Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

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