Charnwood69

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

Moderators: marko69, Bluemike, Charnwood

Post Reply
User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Sat Jan 04, 2020 4:20 pm

Saw this at the bottom of the page........, GREAT name!

Happy Birthday you lucky Jet-Setter you. Hope you're being fussed over by family & friends and NOT out on the golf course. :D Aw the very best.

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:25 pm

Happy Birthday Andy. have a great day.

bit of interest, there's a programme on tv next week called White House Farm those murders that took place near the village of Tolleshunt D'Arcy in the 80s, Jeremy Bamber's still inside serving time,

there was that other murder at the same time of Dc Jones wife in Coggeshall nearby,

both near to where we lived, :?

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:57 pm

.... and you pair o mongrels managed to get away with it?

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:25 am

marko69 wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 4:20 pm
Saw this at the bottom of the page........, GREAT name!

Happy Birthday you lucky Jet-Setter you. Hope you're being fussed over by family & friends and NOT out on the golf course. :D Aw the very best.

Thanks Marko, but....

Sorry to let you down mate, but after tea in bed at 11am I tee’d off at 12.10 and played in the first golf comp of the season at my local club in fabulous winter sunshine surrounded by my mates. Home on time as promised at 6.30 and spent a quiet evening in with the missus who prepared my current favourite dinner. After more than two weeks of “wining & dining out” inc 10 days “all inclusive” the thought of another night out just too much.

I should def look at a name change since we’ve now sold up in Charnwood Forest, and yea I like the idea of a 69 !..that does look good.

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:33 am

goldandblack wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:25 pm
Happy Birthday Andy. have a great day.

bit of interest, there's a programme on tv next week called White House Farm those murders that took place near the village of Tolleshunt D'Arcy in the 80s, Jeremy Bamber's still inside serving time,

there was that other murder at the same time of Dc Jones wife in Coggeshall nearby,

both near to where we lived, :?


Thanks John, yea, I’d seen the Bamber documentary advertised and plan to give it a look, very high profile at the time and def worth a watch. I don’t remember the Dr Jones wife murder as well as the Bamber one but wasn’t her body found just outside Ipswich at Martlesham Heath ?

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:34 am

marko69 wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:57 pm
.... and you pair o mongrels managed to get away with it?

.... as best I recall nobody was ever charged with Mrs Jones murder, so someone definitely got away with that one.

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:46 am

Charnwood wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:33 am
goldandblack wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:25 pm
Happy Birthday Andy. have a great day.

bit of interest, there's a programme on tv next week called White House Farm those murders that took place near the village of Tolleshunt D'Arcy in the 80s, Jeremy Bamber's still inside serving time,

there was that other murder at the same time of Dc Jones wife in Coggeshall nearby,

both near to where we lived, :?


Thanks John, yea, I’d seen the Bamber documentary advertised and plan to give it a look, very high profile at the time and def worth a watch. I don’t remember the Dr Jones wife murder as well as the Bamber one but wasn’t her body found just outside Ipswich at Martlesham Heath ?
never was really convinced Bamber did it, and this programme is worth watching to see what that copper has to say, bit iffy to me his take on it.

your spot on with the body being found Martlesham Heath Ipswich .that murder was a bit later in1986/87. I have my theories on that one,

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:48 am

marko69 wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:57 pm
.... and you pair o mongrels managed to get away with it?
I know nuffffffink. 8)

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:56 pm

Coggleshall, Tolleshunt D’Arcy, Martlesham Heath?? Wtf is this? Real life Midsomer names?

You two secretly writing a book together and making this sh*t up?

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:57 pm

And SpanishCoast69 ....... your current favourite dinner??? Come on, buddy...... don’t leave that one hanging. Spill the beans on toast?

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Sun Jan 05, 2020 6:20 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:56 pm
Coggleshall, Tolleshunt D’Arcy, Martlesham Heath?? Wtf is this? Real life Midsomer names?

You two secretly writing a book together and making this sh*t up?
oh I forgot to mention the headless horse rider from the village of Layer de la Haye, just round the corner . now that is another story, 8)

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Sun Jan 05, 2020 8:51 pm

I lived in Martlesham as a boy in the 70s. We used to play on Martlesham Heath before it eventually became developed.

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:17 pm

Can we talk?
Of course, Inspector. What is it?
There’s been an incident.
Serious?
Am I being serious? Or is it a serious incident?
The incident. Is it serious?
I’m afraid so. Murder.
The incident is murder? Or there has been a murder?
Both. But yes. Someone has been murdered.
Oh my goodness, Where?
Martlesham.
Not at the Martlesham YMCA?
No. Martlesham Heath actually.
That’s terrible.
We’d like to speak with a young chap from the “Y”
Who?
We don’t know his name.
How you going to find him inspector?
He wears a “9” on his shirt.
You mean, 9 of Martlesham?
You know him?
Yes. He wears cowboy boots.
Interesting. Anything else?
Yes. He left.
He left? When? Where’d he go?
He left with the woman who moved in downstairs.
Are you serious?
Deadly. She made him a curry one night and then he left.
Are you sure?

To be continued.....

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:29 pm

Excellent! But that was long before curry and cowboy boots! :lol:

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Sun Jan 05, 2020 11:15 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:17 pm
Can we talk?
Of course, Inspector. What is it?
There’s been an incident.
Serious?
Am I being serious? Or is it a serious incident?
The incident. Is it serious?
I’m afraid so. Murder.
The incident is murder? Or there has been a murder?
Both. But yes. Someone has been murdered.
Oh my goodness, Where?
Martlesham.
Not at the Martlesham YMCA?
No. Martlesham Heath actually.
That’s terrible.
We’d like to speak with a young chap from the “Y”
Who?
We don’t know his name.
How you going to find him inspector?
He wears a “9” on his shirt.
You mean, 9 of Martlesham?
You know him?
Yes. He wears cowboy boots.
Interesting. Anything else?
Yes. He left.
He left? When? Where’d he go?
He left with the woman who moved in downstairs.
Are you serious?
Deadly. She made him a curry one night and then he left.
Are you sure?

To be continued.....
if we are going to take this serious we will need a bit of backing music,
https://www.vidoevo.com/video/ZHZENzNBc ... ders-theme

TIP; I think you need to dig under the BT Tower :wink:

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Mon Jan 06, 2020 5:00 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:57 pm
And SpanishCoast69 ....... your current favourite dinner??? Come on, buddy...... don’t leave that one hanging. Spill the beans on toast?
Here we go Marko, a real surprise for you .....Jamie Oliver's Incredible Baked Cauliflower & Broccoli Cannelloni...
https://hotcooking.co.uk/recipes/jamie- ... cannelloni


It’s fiddling to make but absolutely fabulous to eat.


Mmmmmm,..... Pedro69, that sounds better than Charnwood.

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:04 pm

Pedro69! :lol: Magic

What about FernANDYo-69?

Edit: That Cauli / Broc cannelloni looks great.

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Tue Jan 07, 2020 8:37 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:04 pm
Pedro69! :lol: Magic

What about FernANDYo-69?

Edit: That Cauli / Broc cannelloni looks great.
It’s fantastic Marco 👍

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:39 pm

Charnwood wrote:
Tue Jan 07, 2020 8:37 pm
marko69 wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:04 pm
Pedro69! :lol: Magic

What about FernANDYo-69?

Edit: That Cauli / Broc cannelloni looks great.
It’s fantastic Marco 👍
It does look delicious, but I bet it gives you the wind? :blush:

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Wed Jan 08, 2020 12:31 am

Continued.......

Very sure. It was a tumeric curry and he was glowing yellow.
We understand 9 is an Ipswich fan?
He is.
He wouldn’t have appreciated the yellow.
He left angry.
How do you know this?
Well he was swearing under his breath about Percy or Debbie.
Percy or Debbie? Who are they?
I don’t know. All I know is he was angry.
What was he saying?
Sounded like the forbidden word.
The forbidden word, Miss?
Yes. The “C” word.
In what context?
He said, I’m going to get that total c u n t, Percy. Or Debbie. Couldn’t hear. Sorry for my language.
That’s ok, Miss. Hmmm. That total c u n t Percy.
Yes, I’m sure that’s what he said.
Makes no sense. We don’t know a Percy. Or a Debbie.
Almost certain that was what he was saying.
WAIT! Maybe he was saying Tolleshunt D’arcy?
He could’ve been saying that I suppose.
Ok. You’ve been a great help, Miss.
Are you going to Tolleshunt D’arcy now?
Not just yet.
Where to first?
The Indian neighbour. That curry smells awesome.
But, she left with him. Remember?
Darn it, that’s right. Ok. We’ll head to a late night curry house before tracking down this c u n t Percy.
But there is no c u n t Percy, Inspector.
YES, Sorry. I’m hungry. Can’t think. We’ll be in touch. Thanks.
Oh, if it helps, there’s a good place near the BT Tower, inspector.
British Telecom?
No. Beef Tikka.
Ok thanks....

To be continued.....

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:19 am

Marko, has anyone ever told you “you’re fuckin crackers”...

Ps... can’t wait to read Part 2 !

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Wed Jan 08, 2020 8:33 pm

Charnwood wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:19 am
Marko, has anyone ever told you “you’re fuckin crackers”...

Ps... can’t wait to read Part 2 !
I think he's on to us Andy, :? just remember the alibi word for word OK.

User avatar
Charnwood
Global Moderator
Posts: 12666
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Moraira, Spain.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Charnwood » Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:24 pm

goldandblack wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 8:33 pm
Charnwood wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:19 am
Marko, has anyone ever told you “you’re fuckin crackers”...

Ps... can’t wait to read Part 2 !
I think he's on to us Andy, :? just remember the alibi word for word OK.
Mum’s the word John :wink:

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:53 am

It was a sunny day on the heath. A typical Suffolk morning with a crisp breeze and clouds reluctantly clearing. Sparrows foraged on the ground of the high grass. In the distance, an owl could be heard hooting away the new dawn. As rabbits scurried to their burrows, a very young Number 8 and a half trundled across the lumpy earth of Martlesham Heath. Little did he know the events of that day...could define the rest of his life...

User avatar
Bluemike
Global Moderator
Posts: 21624
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
Location: Ipswich

Re: Charnwood69

Post by Bluemike » Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:45 am

You found the Asian bird?

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Thu Jan 09, 2020 1:01 pm

Bluemike wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:45 am
You found the Asian bird?
:lol:

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 17813
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: Charnwood69

Post by marko69 » Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:12 pm

Sir David Attenborough narrates......

There is little known of how the incident came to pass........, but we do........ thankfully......., have the following transcript that could perhaps......, help......, lead us to some sought after answers. It reads:

"It was a sunny day on the heath. A typical Suffolk morning with a crisp breeze and clouds reluctantly clearing. Sparrows foraged on the ground of the high grass. In the distance, an owl could be heard hooting away the new dawn. As rabbits scurried to their burrows, a very young Number 8 and a half trundled across the lumpy earth of Martlesham Heath. Little did he know the events of that day...could define the rest of his life..."

And there you have it. Translators believe that the events that took place that day were too gruesome .....for the young chap to even think about....... never mind writing them down in this transcript, but he did........ in fact decide....... years later...... that the time was right to tell these life defining occurrences. But......., sadly......., the transcript ends there. Translators later believed memories of those events flooded back....... and it was too painful to divulge more information. For years, legend has said that, with the foraging Sparrows, and the hooting owls, and the scurrying bunnies, hares and rabbits, the young chap.... was indeed, caught....., in full Winnie The Pooh outfit. That he misjudged the early dawn rising and thought it was much earlier. The Heath ....., by now being better lit, was beginning to be populated with ........ People. The young chap...... in authentic and rotund pooh attire, couldn't squeeze himself down one of the nearby rabbit burrows. It was a day..... that indeed defined his very future. He fled. He fled across the ocean to the Americas .....and vowed .....never to be seen in yellow again. Speculation that he was spotted in a yellow Pokemon outfit to lure an Asian woman to his house have been said to be not true......, although open to debate.

BBC guy:
Join us next week when we investigate why a semi-pro golfer going by the name Pedro is sometimes in Spain, Leicestershire, Jamaica. Just what the fox is he up too? Holidaying? Find out, next week ....

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:26 pm

in a statement made back in July 1983 the community of wise Owls said as Quoted." we had no members in the area at any time during June, July or August", and any suggestion they were hooting on the heath that day is strongly denied,

Image

Image
Image
Last edited by goldandblack on Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:51 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 2730
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: Charnwood69

Post by number 9 » Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:49 pm

After further investigation, it has been revealed that reports of a pudgy boy in a Winnie the Poo outfit was false. Some say fake news. Some say the description of the boy was merely a distraction from the truth. In fact, the boy actually wore a yellow and blue football uniform which many have said was the best away kit for the local football team Ipswich Town FC. Consequently, those rumors were never enough to excuse the horror of what this innocent young boy witnessed that day. One can only imagine the psychological effects that may have enveloped this young lad as he retrieved his leather and laced football from that hidden spot on Martlesham Heath. Would he move on with life and support his team no matter what unfolded in the future, or would he sink into the evil embrace of an unsolved murder?

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 3482
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: Charnwood69

Post by goldandblack » Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:47 pm

Charnwood, I cant see these two wanabee Dempsey and Makepeace solving this anytime soon mate,Blind leading the Blind springs to mind aye, 8)

Post Reply