Olympics in Beijing 2022

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Sun Feb 13, 2022 6:44 pm

have been watching the brits in the Skiing, it all started ok but went down hill after that,

apparently this fella entered the bob-sleighing Competition, when they caught him up he had already killed 73 Bob's

Did you hear Dolly Parton was angry she had to compete in the Olympics? She was a cross country skier.

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 15, 2022 9:45 pm

Winter Olympics: British bobsleigh crashes in Beijing
hope they had there hard hats on

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/winter-olympics/60349724

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by number 9 » Wed Feb 16, 2022 2:47 am

goldandblack wrote:
Tue Feb 15, 2022 9:45 pm
Winter Olympics: British bobsleigh crashes in Beijing
hope they had there hard hats on

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/winter-olympics/60349724
11th place! Well done GB! :lol:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Wed Feb 16, 2022 3:25 pm

number 9 wrote:
Wed Feb 16, 2022 2:47 am
goldandblack wrote:
Tue Feb 15, 2022 9:45 pm
Winter Olympics: British bobsleigh crashes in Beijing
hope they had there hard hats on

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/winter-olympics/60349724
11th place! Well done GB! :lol:
but it is the wrong sort of snow for us Mr 9. otherwise we would be top 8)

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Thu Feb 17, 2022 9:19 pm

Oh dear Mr 9. :lol: :lol: :lol:

GB 8 v USeless 4


Winter Olympics: Team GB guarantee curling medal after 8-4 win over USA in men's semi-final
GB men's team win their semi-final against the USA and guarantee a medal will arrive on Saturday; GB face Sweden in the final to decide the gold and silver medals

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Sat Feb 19, 2022 8:04 pm

U.S. men's curling team defeated by British Commonwealth Canada in bronze medal match
With the loss, the U.S. continues its streak of never winning a curling medal in back-to-back Olympics.

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https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/u ... -rcna16775

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Sun Feb 20, 2022 8:27 pm

Beijing Winter Olympics: Team GB finally win first gold medal as disappointing Games comes to a close
The team's skip Eve Muirhead said the win was "a dream come true for myself, and for the rest of the girls".



Well Done GBR and Thank You Scotland :D

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Sun Feb 20, 2022 9:03 pm

Long story short, Wolfie. My parents emigrated twice to Oz…… in between trips, we lived in Penicuik, 12 miles south of Edinburgh. My Primary 6 teacher was Mrs Muirhead. Looking at Eve Muirhead, they’ve got to have been related.
I say that in a past tense way as poor Mrs Muirhead, (i heard years later at a reunion) was killed by an out of control scaffolding truck.

See that, ^^^^ GB / (Scotland) gold medals can generate really interesting conversation. 🤦‍♂️👍

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Sun Feb 20, 2022 9:54 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Feb 20, 2022 9:03 pm
Long story short, Wolfie. My parents emigrated twice to Oz…… in between trips, we lived in Penicuik, 12 miles south of Edinburgh. My Primary 6 teacher was Mrs Muirhead. Looking at Eve Muirhead, they’ve got to have been related.
I say that in a past tense way as poor Mrs Muirhead, (i heard years later at a reunion) was killed by an out of control scaffolding truck.

See that, ^^^^ GB / (Scotland) gold medals can generate really interesting conversation. 🤦‍♂️👍
thats interesting stuff mate,

its good to see any sports person reach the top of their profession, I hear in the next winter Olympics in Italy, they are including Mountain Climbing and Gas Central heating in the games, i really cant see what Mountain Climbing has to do with sport tho can you, :wink:

true story.
A mate of mine once won a gold medal when he was in the Olympics.
he was so proud of it, for a surprise,, I had it bronzed. :lol:

Also did you notice the Sailing results.

The British have taken the Gold medal.
The French have taken the Silver medal.
The Somalians have taken the boats

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Sun Feb 20, 2022 10:13 pm

Hazel Irvine: “Did you see the way the team managed to get that 22mm automatic by-pass valve installed well within the 2 metre manufacturers instructions.”

Guest heating guy: “Yes Hazel, the pump was installed on the flow leg equidistant from inverted cold feed combined expansion area allowing plenty space for the by-Pass installation.”

Hazel: “Yes, good stuff by the heating team there. We were due to bring you news from the electricians event but proceedings had to be stopped due to, and i quote from the referees, the f**king mess no one has bothered their arse to sweep up. Oh dear. Not good for the electricians. Lets go to the joiners. Wait…… something coming thru my earpiece here…… the joiners are at McDonalds? Ok. Lets go back to the Scottish, sorry, the GB team in the curling.”

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Sun Feb 20, 2022 10:14 pm

goldandblack wrote:
Sun Feb 20, 2022 9:54 pm
A mate of mine once won a gold medal when he was in the Olympics.
he was so proud of it, for a surprise,, I had it bronzed. :lol:

Also did you notice the Sailing results.

The British have taken the Gold medal.
The French have taken the Silver medal.
The Somalians have taken the boats
:lol: 👍

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Sun Feb 20, 2022 11:07 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Feb 20, 2022 10:13 pm
Hazel Irvine: “Did you see the way the team managed to get that 22mm automatic by-pass valve installed well within the 2 metre manufacturers instructions.”

Guest heating guy: “Yes Hazel, the pump was installed on the flow leg equidistant from inverted cold feed combined expansion area allowing plenty space for the by-Pass installation.”

Hazel: “Yes, good stuff by the heating team there. We were due to bring you news from the electricians event but proceedings had to be stopped due to, and i quote from the referees, the f**king mess no one has bothered their arse to sweep up. Oh dear. Not good for the electricians. Lets go to the joiners. Wait…… something coming thru my earpiece here…… the joiners are at McDonalds? Ok. Lets go back to the Scottish, sorry, the GB team in the curling.”
Brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: what is it with all sparks they have to leave a mess, they seem to think they are above all other trades , useless articles

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Mon Feb 21, 2022 7:44 am

Hahahaha! That an issue Dan Sath as well? :lol:
Yep, up here, sparks?? Messy bstds!
And plasterers? Well, 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. In their defence, its a messy job, ……. But some plasterers get the stuff everywhere but the walls.

Long story short, YEARS ago was installing both heating & new bathroom for this policeman dude. Heating first and all went smooth.
Then started on the bathroom, which had previously been ripped out and plastered.
Police guy: “You think the tiles i chose will be ok on that main bath wall?
Me: “Depends on the plasterer, mate. Most of them are useless bstds.”
Police guy: “I plastered it. Was a plasterer before i joined the force.”

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Talk about a “floor open and swallow me up” moment.


Better mention the games. Well done Norway. 👍👏👏👏👏🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Mon Feb 21, 2022 2:51 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon Feb 21, 2022 7:44 am
Hahahaha! That an issue Dan Sath as well? :lol:
Yep, up here, sparks?? Messy bstds!
And plasterers? Well, 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. In their defence, its a messy job, ……. But some plasterers get the stuff everywhere but the walls.

Long story short, YEARS ago was installing both heating & new bathroom for this policeman dude. Heating first and all went smooth.
Then started on the bathroom, which had previously been ripped out and plastered.
Police guy: “You think the tiles i chose will be ok on that main bath wall?
Me: “Depends on the plasterer, mate. Most of them are useless bstds.”
Police guy: “I plastered it. Was a plasterer before i joined the force.”

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Talk about a “floor open and swallow me up” moment.


Better mention the games. Well done Norway. 👍👏👏👏👏🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

:lol: Short story made Long
Similar story. Me and the my bro in-law (plumber) used to fit kitchens, he was one of the cant get up in the morning but never wanted to finish until late.
Anyway I've turned up before him and noticed a For Sale board in the drive. thinking these folk had just moved in I said you just moved in, they said no they couldn't sell the house so decided to stay and have a new kitchen fitted,
Anyway as usual the hint of getting the kettle full as we were going to turn the water off worked and got my cuppa.
In walks the bro in-law late as usual, first thing he says is " Cant believe people could sale a house and leave it like a pigsty.
A very frosty couple days ahead, and bringing a flask. :lol: :lol: :lol:

back to topic
the next winter Olympics are in Italy, so lets hope the Brits are not pasta there best :lol:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Mon Feb 21, 2022 5:33 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: 👍 👏👏👏 @ flasks for the next few days 👍

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Mon Feb 21, 2022 9:47 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon Feb 21, 2022 5:33 pm
:lol: :lol: :lol: 👍 👏👏👏 @ flasks for the next few days 👍
like you and your trade, I bet we could write a book on some of the antics, there certainly was with my time fitting kitchens 8)

will tell you the story of fitting a kitchen for a known Schizophrenia , one day when we have a few weeks spare :lol: :lol: :lol: ,

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Mon Feb 21, 2022 11:02 pm

Wolfie…….. that book would sell by the bucket load. :lol: I too have some real crackers logged in my memory. :lol:

Very much looking forward to “The Schizo kitchen”……, :lol:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Mon Feb 21, 2022 11:48 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon Feb 21, 2022 11:02 pm
Wolfie…….. that book would sell by the bucket load. :lol: I too have some real crackers logged in my memory. :lol:

Very much looking forward to “The Schizo kitchen”……, :lol:
not sure Schizo is quite the right word for this fella, probably a complete and utter nutter really summed him up .

its a long story so tell it stages OK,

It all started when reading the kitchen plans on the way, in the side note column it said underlined " don't leave any sharp tools unattended while your there and don't leave any tools there overnight.( which isn't a great start aye )

Anyway arriving at this block of flats and a bit of luck it was on the bottom floor and could park right outside his door.
knocked on the door and no one there, waited in the van for 20 mins and tried again, still no one in, anyway next to our van this guy was washing his car, so we asked him about this fella and where he was,
this fella said " I'm him and he was going to phone your company about you being late, he'd been there all the time watching us knocking on his door,

Anyway he opened the door and there was this smell of burning, every piece of architrave, Skirting boards, and doors were burnt to a cinder,
I said to this fella, "you had a fire", he said no I'm decorating and had burned the paint off ready to paint, :shock:

story to continue :wink:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 12:08 am

The guy washing the car IS the guy who's house door you are tapping? EH? He's watching you tap the door? JEEZ, you guys must have patience. Think I'd have kicked his a$$ if it was the younger days! :evil: :lol:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 12:13 am

marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 12:08 am
The guy washing the car IS the guy who's house door you are tapping? EH? He's watching you tap the door? JEEZ, you guys must have patience. Think I'd have kicked his a$$ if it was the younger days! :evil: :lol:
sure would have, but we only got paid when he paid or signed the finance doc's for the kitchen. but there's still time in this story :wink:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 4:22 pm

Part 2.
Entering the kitchen it looked like he hadn’t emptied any cupboards out, the washing up was still in the sink, I said you’re meant to clear all your stuff out before we get here,
His answer, I have cleared it all out :? , for a way out of this total waste of time I said give the firm a call when you’ve done it, thinking we are out
nut house.

Just putting everything back on the van this nutter comes running out saying he had done it,
Went back in and he had chucked everything in his living room, even the washing up.
Stripping all the old kitchen out this fella said hes got to pop out for an hour,
Speaking to his neighbour he said this fella has to report to the police station twice a day,

On his return the fun really start,

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 6:47 pm

Man! :shock: No patience for that, mate! :lol: I’d have been off.
I remember going to a student flat in Marchmont, Edinburgh, 1990s. Couldnt even see the carpets, STUFF everywhere.
“Glad you guys are here. Freezing!”
“AYE? And you’ll be freezing again tonight ya lazy bstd. Get your sh*te cleared and we MIGHT be back tomorrow.”

Fk those people, wolfie. Sorry, brings down a red mist ! :twisted: :lol:

Hoping part 3 the tools are in the van and you're home watching Countdown!

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:44 pm

marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 6:47 pm
Man! :shock: No patience for that, mate! :lol: I’d have been off.
I remember going to a student flat in Marchmont, Edinburgh, 1990s. Couldnt even see the carpets, STUFF everywhere.
“Glad you guys are here. Freezing!”
“AYE? And you’ll be freezing again tonight ya lazy bstd. Get your sh*te cleared and we MIGHT be back tomorrow.”

Fk those people, wolfie. Sorry, brings down a red mist ! :twisted: :lol:

Hoping part 3 the tools are in the van and you're home watching Countdown!
I’m more of the calm type me mate, and always up for a challenge, especially when there is 2 or 3 hundred £ at stake,
Thinking back this was in the early 80s. shock

Anyway back to the best bit.
Part 3.
This fella comes back and offers us a cuppa, off he goes and comes back with just 1 cup, he said he only had the 1 cup so we’d have to share it,
Looking at it the grass outside needed it more than us,
Anyway this is when the fun starts, in walks Micky the spark, out of the 6 sparks on that firm Micky wasn't the guy this fella needed or us :lol:
This fella asks him when he wires the oven in can he drill a hole in the wall and put a wire in for a shower and puts a cross on the wall where this hole is going, Micky says let’s have a look in the bathroom to see where,
This fella says wait I’ll get the bathroom ready and will give you a shout, 10 minutes later this fella calls him.
Micky goes in the bathroom and this fella is in the bath starkers. Everywhere was black bin bags full of rubbish.
Micky looks a bit concerned when he tells us especially when this fella walks in with blood pouring from his nose and storms out of the flat.
I think Micky has got your patience Mate.



Part 4, and an even better bit

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:57 pm

goldandblack wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:44 pm
marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 6:47 pm
Man! :shock: No patience for that, mate! :lol: I’d have been off.
I remember going to a student flat in Marchmont, Edinburgh, 1990s. Couldnt even see the carpets, STUFF everywhere.
“Glad you guys are here. Freezing!”
“AYE? And you’ll be freezing again tonight ya lazy bstd. Get your sh*te cleared and we MIGHT be back tomorrow.”

Fk those people, wolfie. Sorry, brings down a red mist ! :twisted: :lol:

Hoping part 3 the tools are in the van and you're home watching Countdown!
I’m more of the calm type me mate, and always up for a challenge, especially when there is 2 or 3 hundred £ at stake,
Thinking back this was in the early 80s. shock

Anyway back to the best bit.
Part 3.
This fella comes back and offers us a cuppa, off he goes and comes back with just 1 cup, he said he only had the 1 cup so we’d have to share it,
Looking at it the grass outside needed it more than us,
Anyway this is when the fun starts, in walks Micky the spark, out of the 6 sparks on that firm Micky wasn't the guy this fella needed or us :lol:
This fella asks him when he wires the oven in can he drill a hole in the wall and put a wire in for a shower and puts a cross on the wall where this hole is going, Micky says let’s have a look in the bathroom to see where,
This fella says wait I’ll get the bathroom ready and will give you a shout, 10 minutes later this fella calls him.
Micky goes in the bathroom and this fella is in the bath starkers. Everywhere was black bin bags full of rubbish.
Micky looks a bit concerned when he tells us especially when this fella walks in with blood pouring from his nose and storms out of the flat.
I think Micky has got your patience Mate.



Part 4, and an even better bit
:lol: .... but you've got me all wrong, Wolfie......, I am very VERY calm......, the calm one back in those days. :shock: But I just refuse to clear peoples stuff when they know (for weeks) that we'll be there.
One job, we turned up, 8am, 4 kids running around in pj's and two teenagers sleeping in. The mother was like, "We'll not be long!"
My mate, Paul (RIP, Buddy) whispered in my ear...., "Snooker hall?" ....., I said, "Its ok, just take your time. In fact we'll be back tomorrow ok."
"But, but........"
"Tomorrow, BYE!"

I hope this guy is put in Carstairs in Part 4.

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 9:02 pm

marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:57 pm
goldandblack wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:44 pm
marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 6:47 pm
Man! :shock: No patience for that, mate! :lol: I’d have been off.
I remember going to a student flat in Marchmont, Edinburgh, 1990s. Couldnt even see the carpets, STUFF everywhere.
“Glad you guys are here. Freezing!”
“AYE? And you’ll be freezing again tonight ya lazy bstd. Get your sh*te cleared and we MIGHT be back tomorrow.”

Fk those people, wolfie. Sorry, brings down a red mist ! :twisted: :lol:

Hoping part 3 the tools are in the van and you're home watching Countdown!
I’m more of the calm type me mate, and always up for a challenge, especially when there is 2 or 3 hundred £ at stake,
Thinking back this was in the early 80s. shock

Anyway back to the best bit.
Part 3.
This fella comes back and offers us a cuppa, off he goes and comes back with just 1 cup, he said he only had the 1 cup so we’d have to share it,
Looking at it the grass outside needed it more than us,
Anyway this is when the fun starts, in walks Micky the spark, out of the 6 sparks on that firm Micky wasn't the guy this fella needed or us :lol:
This fella asks him when he wires the oven in can he drill a hole in the wall and put a wire in for a shower and puts a cross on the wall where this hole is going, Micky says let’s have a look in the bathroom to see where,
This fella says wait I’ll get the bathroom ready and will give you a shout, 10 minutes later this fella calls him.
Micky goes in the bathroom and this fella is in the bath starkers. Everywhere was black bin bags full of rubbish.
Micky looks a bit concerned when he tells us especially when this fella walks in with blood pouring from his nose and storms out of the flat.
I think Micky has got your patience Mate.



Part 4, and an even better bit
:lol: .... but you've got me all wrong, Wolfie......, I am very VERY calm......, the calm one back in those days. :shock: But I just refuse to clear peoples stuff when they know (for weeks) that we'll be there.
One job, we turned up, 8am, 4 kids running around in pj's and two teenagers sleeping in. The mother was like, "We'll not be long!"
My mate, Paul (RIP, Buddy) whispered in my ear...., "Snooker hall?" ....., I said, "Its ok, just take your time. In fact we'll be back tomorrow ok."
"But, but........"
"Tomorrow, BYE!"

I hope this guy is put in Carstairs in Part 4.
Well funny you should say that :wink:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 9:43 pm

Part 4,
Got all the base and wall units in, work tops on and sink plumbed in,
All that’s left is the doors, plinth, and other finishing bits the next day. This fella comes back
Looking like he’d been imitating worzel gummage in a ploughed field.

So exit Wolfie and Co stage right to return next day,
Next day we get back, walking into the kitchen all the wall units have gone and all the backs in the base units had been ripped out.
Confronting this nutter he said he didn’t want wall units and he took the backs out because he wanted to keep an eye on the gas and water pipes behind them,
He said he had to pop out (police again) I said just sign these papers (finance agreement) in case we have finished before he gets back and unbelievably he does, that’s us getting our money.
So as he drives of so do us LOL

Next morning back at the depot handing in the docs and satisfaction docs signed to the boss,
Why’s this fella on the phone saying we stole all his wall units and backs to the cupboards,and left all the doors and drawer front off,
I said the blokes a nutter and wouldnt have signed if we hadnt finished :D
And did Micky punched him on the nose, ( we know nothing)
This boss and the salesman had had a bet on how long we would stay in that flat, the B*****ds none of em thought we'd get paid, even the rep got his cut, so we got the last laugh and two long days money in just over a day,
Never did hear anymore . only that he'd been sectioned and it wasn't even his flat

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 10:06 pm

Got to be completely honest, I have experienced some real proper weirdos but I just cannot top that one, Wolfie. That guy sounded crazy. Pretty scary actually even though hilarious......., "looking like Wurzel Gummage in a ploughed field" :lol: :lol: :lol:

An eye opener regarding a client and her son......., he was 30-ish but really stricken with the Aspergers Syndrome. He came home from his outing with his carer and saw the yellow foam lagged cylinder in his garage, (the old one we ripped out) .... and he threw an absolute wobbly. Kicking, screaming etc. But it was the Aspergers......, hated change. His mother also didn't know that he'd do that over a hot water tank otherwise she said she'd have asked us to put it in the van out of sight.

Nice story about that job......., he was a genius. He worked part time for Lothian Regional Transport making up their bus timetable schedules. Apparently had one of those brains that could work out where all the buses were at the exact times. I was going to joke, "Yeah, LATE, Simon!" ... but thought better of it. :lol:

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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 10:28 pm

thats a horrid thing to have aye,,
Remember doing this rush job fitting a kitchen 3 days before Xmas,
had finished everything by Xmas eve and just waiting for the spark to wire up the cooker back to the box,
got to about 7pm and no spark,
this couple said how were they going to cook a Xmas dinner for all there family on a gas hob, I felt really bad for them and even offered to run a wire in for them temporary, they said no they'd wait. so we left feeling gutted for em.

Anyway after Xmas we had to go back and do a bit of snagging, the house was empty, and the whole kitchen had gone, :shock: the neighbour said the whole thing was a scam and this couple had only rented this house for a couple of weeks.
the rep was found to be involved in this scam. that's why the spark hadn't turned up because he had been booked to,

lost our money that time :?

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marko69
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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by marko69 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 10:39 pm

What's going on in the Midlands with the nutcases & scams?! :lol:

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goldandblack
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Re: Olympics in Beijing 2022

Post by goldandblack » Tue Feb 22, 2022 11:08 pm

marko69 wrote:
Tue Feb 22, 2022 10:39 pm
What's going on in the Midlands with the nutcases & scams?! :lol:
the scam kitchen was right down in London, Always remember telling the wife how we'd left this couple with no cooker over Xmas, she was gutted until after Xmas when i told her about the scam and we would not get paid, She changed her view mighty quick and i discovered new swear words :D

will have to tell you about the time we started fitting a kitchen in the wrong house,( next door )

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