Arrise Sir Boris

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

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goldandblack
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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sat Apr 30, 2022 5:37 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sat Apr 30, 2022 1:48 pm
Hopefully he's served some juice.
:D
he spent a lot of time serving for the match
now he's spending a lot of time serving time for her majesty.

well its a start :wink:

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Sat Apr 30, 2022 6:02 pm

He’ll “love” it.

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sat Apr 30, 2022 6:55 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sat Apr 30, 2022 6:02 pm
He’ll “love” it.
he was once good on both the Grass and hard courts. now he' just good on the grass . :wink:

How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Sat Apr 30, 2022 7:49 pm

Think he instructed his ace accountant to double fault on his finances.

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sat Apr 30, 2022 8:54 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sat Apr 30, 2022 7:49 pm
Think he instructed his ace accountant to double fault on his finances.
:D


Don’t think you quite understand my English Boris.
When I said “you’re at the Southwark Crown Court on Thursday I didn’t mean you were at the Southwark Tennis Court,
And also no I didn’t say your be giving Pat Cash a hiding, I said it’s over you hiding some Cash,

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Sat Apr 30, 2022 11:05 pm

Judge : “Serves you right, Boris.”

Boris : “Err, nein, nein, I am left handed, your honour”

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sun May 01, 2022 1:18 pm

:lol: and Where's Mr 9s usual sense humour aye. 8)

Judge to Becker;” I give you 30 for stepping over the line,”

John McEnroe shouts from the gallery; “you can’t be serious judge,”

Judge; “for contempt of court I give you 15 McEnroe.

Becker... 30
McEnroe 15

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Sun May 01, 2022 6:31 pm

Judge: “From here, you will be taken to Feder……”

Boris: “Oh yah, yah, Rogers house?”

Judge: “No Mr Becker. Federal pound you in the a$$ prison.”

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sun May 01, 2022 7:12 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun May 01, 2022 6:31 pm
Judge: “From here, you will be taken to Feder……”

Boris: “Oh yah, yah, Rogers house?”

Judge: “No Mr Becker. Federal pound you in the a$$ prison.”
Classic mate, that's the best on so far, :lol: :lol: :lol:

wish these folk wouldn't rush so fast to join in, :wink:

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Mon May 02, 2022 1:43 pm

Judge, Next case please,
Court usher; Call Conner,
Judge, Can you call the person v the state not what he's up for.
Court usher; I just did, Call J Conners 8)

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Mon May 02, 2022 4:13 pm

:D

Judge: “Next case. The woman who tried to steal a toilet.”

“Court calls Miss Martina No-Lava-Tory”

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Mon May 02, 2022 7:21 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon May 02, 2022 4:13 pm
:D

Judge: “Next case. The woman who tried to steal a toilet.”

“Court calls Miss Martina No-Lava-Tory”
:lol: brilliant,


Judge ; ring the gong for witness Evonne Goolagong to the stand,
Usher; All the witnesses have gone home your honour.
Even Evonne Goolagong and even the gongs gone.

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Tue May 03, 2022 7:12 am

:lol:

I’m OUT with the tennis stuff…….

THAT WAS NOT OUT……. CHALK DUST!!! CHAAAALK DUST!!!

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Tue May 03, 2022 8:49 pm

marko69 wrote:
Tue May 03, 2022 7:12 am
:lol:

I’m OUT with the tennis stuff…….

THAT WAS NOT OUT……. CHALK DUST!!! CHAAAALK DUST!!!
only 27 more posts. :wink:
little Boris story
My son’s family have a cats called Boris and Jasmine.
He taught Boris to fetch like a dog, he throws a ball and it gets it and brings it back,
When Boris is outside he has been taught not to go over the fence into this neighbours garden who has a dog,
Boris will wait until no one is looking, will even go into the kitchen and see if anyone is looking, then climbs over the fence,
My son will be watching from upstairs and filming this cat. Anyway Jasmine will run into the house and squeal on Boris to let them know he gone over the fence. :shock: :lol: :lol:
Have got phone videos of this but wouldn’t know how to post them,

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Wed May 04, 2022 11:34 am

Boris: “Jasmine!! You grass!”
Jasmine: “No, more a Asiatic evergreen ground covering if i’m honest, Boris. Now get out my face, pussy!”

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Fri May 06, 2022 10:44 pm

Back in court, the judge summing up the case.

Judge; Boris you have acted like a complete monster, scarring every decent folk you meet. Causing mayhem wherever you go,
Usher; Wrong case your honour Boris Karloff is the next case sir,

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Sat May 07, 2022 10:42 am

Peggy Mitchell is stand in Judge.

Peggy: “Two and a arf yeez in the beeg haaas for you, Boris.”
Becker: “How many months is this your honour?”
Peggy: “Thats thirty, love.”

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goldandblack
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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Sun May 08, 2022 8:19 pm

and back to the original topic
Mr Starmer, you play with fire you get burnt, leave the proper work to the professionals,

Image

Image

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Mon May 09, 2022 9:55 pm

Boris about to settle in his cell.
Warden; do you need anything before I lock you in,
Boris, Well I could do with a light for my candle and perhaps a set of chess,
Warden returns unlocks the door and says, that’s your Game set and match Boris,
Last edited by goldandblack on Tue May 10, 2022 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by marko69 » Mon May 09, 2022 10:49 pm

Warden: "That you bashin' the Bishop, Boris?"

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Re: Arrise Sir Boris

Post by goldandblack » Tue May 31, 2022 11:52 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon May 09, 2022 10:49 pm
Warden: "That you bashin' the Bishop, Boris?"
:lol:

The governor of the prison says to the warden” go and check on Boris “
Warden reports back, Boris has been checked mate,.

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