On yer BIKES, Bikes

A place to chat about anything thats not football related. Most of the threads in here are completely pointless which is why people keep coming back and back. As the forum title suggests, feel free to make any post you want on any subject you wish. It also has Adult jokes (so be warned) which is the other reason people keep coming back.

Moderators: marko69, Bluemike, Charnwood

Post Reply
User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Tue Jun 14, 2022 7:25 pm

Bikes
Anyone else think they are the curse of the road,
They don’t pay any road tax, any insurance,
They don’t have to pass a road test to take those dangerous machines into society.
A drain on the NHS,
Now they are given more rights over the law abiding vehicle driver,
Ban them from the roads or let them pay road tax and build their own roads,

And now we have these Electric scooters running folk over on our paths.

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 4760
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by number 9 » Tue Jun 14, 2022 7:52 pm

With the price of petrol, you’d better get used to it Wolfie! I can see you on one of those thick tired cyclocross bikes. Put a basket on the handlebars, and you can bring a loaf of bread to the missus. :lol:

User avatar
Bluemike
Global Moderator
Posts: 25894
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
Location: Ipswich

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by Bluemike » Wed Jun 15, 2022 8:50 am

It's prats on bikes who decide to ride on the path that p*ss me off, one nearly took my elderly mum off her feet one time, I took great pleasure in dragging him off his bike and pinning him to the wall by his throat, tosser.

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:12 am

All for protecting the family, really am, but just be careful out there! :shock:

https://youtu.be/V1t3fX2SCzM

I would’ve tracked this guy down and put him in a wheelchair.

Wait. No. Then he’d get benefits? 🤔

No, i’d kill the bstd.


But SERIOUSLY…….. mind how you all go with re to cyclists……. They’re worse than drivers……. Very “entitled” fkers.

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Wed Jun 15, 2022 3:24 pm

I live in a sort of cul de sac, couple of weeks back on a bank holiday weekend Sunday they had a bike race go past the entrance to our road,
so they decide to shut the whole road from 6am to 3.30 on a Sunday on the Bank Holiday weekend .so all our plans went as no one could leave or visit, strange how the whole course had no pot holes and new tarmac, all the roads off this main road is like the surface of the moon.

And well done Mike. a metal rod between the spokes works as well. 8)

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Wed Jun 15, 2022 3:29 pm

marko69 wrote:
Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:12 am
All for protecting the family, really am, but just be careful out there! :shock:

https://youtu.be/V1t3fX2SCzM

I would’ve tracked this guy down and put him in a wheelchair.

Wait. No. Then he’d get benefits? 🤔

No, i’d kill the bstd.


But SERIOUSLY…….. mind how you all go with re to cyclists……. They’re worse than drivers……. Very “entitled” fkers.
when these arrogant bikers get involved in an accident they then go winging to clutter up the A & E.

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Wed Jun 15, 2022 4:53 pm

Holy sh*t, Wolfie….., they closed off your road? Got to assume (Grandads voice: “never assume, Maaaaark.” ) …… that you were given notice of this? Surely they can’t just shut off a road, a cul-de-sac especially, without prior warning? 🤔

Wolfie says: “They did. And don’t call me shirley.”

Image

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Wed Jun 15, 2022 9:50 pm

marko69 wrote:
Wed Jun 15, 2022 4:53 pm
Holy sh*t, Wolfie….., they closed off your road? Got to assume (Grandads voice: “never assume, Maaaaark.” ) …… that you were given notice of this? Surely they can’t just shut off a road, a cul-de-sac especially, without prior warning? 🤔

Wolfie says: “They did. And don’t call me shirley.”

Image
Well yes we got notice ok, don't laugh, it all starts with us arranging our anniversary, so we invite the whole family for a bbq on the Sunday which they all could attend, Enter postman with the dreaded letter telling us the road will be shut from 8am to 3.30. so fine they just have to get to us early.

Driving home in the week before there is the big yellow sign, " This road will be closed from 7am to 3,30pm :shock: " Mrs Angry phone call to council saying you mean 8am, answer from the folk who run our City, " Actually its now 6am to 4.30pm.was the great answer from the council ,

So the end of our anniversary day,

On our side of the road is around 3 cul de sac's and probably 50 houses on the road, on the other side there's an estate with over 1,000 houses
and another 50 odd on the actual road, Every household was grounded that day, just for a bunch of road tax avoiding """"""""""""""s

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:41 am

Well, fairly sure many of your anniversaries were ones to remember, but that one will be for a different reason ……… you were trapped there! :lol: 👍
Just joking.

My best bike story happened in the meadows area of Edinburgh when a cyclist was right on the tail of the car in front of me. Was with my apprentice at the time and we were both thinking this guy was a proper headcase. Why 🤷‍♂️ would he cycle so close?
Well driver must’ve been thinking the same. Slammed on his brakes, cyclist rammed his boot and went flying. I was keeping plenty distance as I foresaw danger, and also stopped. Cyclist was in a bad way, broken leg.
Best part is, the driver blamed a stray dog running onto the road (we didn’t see a dog 🤷‍♂️) ….. and he got away with it.
He obviously just wanted the guy off his tail.

Do wonder if that cyclist learnt anything from that. Hope so.

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Fri Jun 17, 2022 10:15 pm

marko69 wrote:
Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:41 am
Well, fairly sure many of your anniversaries were ones to remember, but that one will be for a different reason ……… you were trapped there! :lol: 👍
Just joking.

My best bike story happened in the meadows area of Edinburgh when a cyclist was right on the tail of the car in front of me. Was with my apprentice at the time and we were both thinking this guy was a proper headcase. Why 🤷‍♂️ would he cycle so close?
Well driver must’ve been thinking the same. Slammed on his brakes, cyclist rammed his boot and went flying. I was keeping plenty distance as I foresaw danger, and also stopped. Cyclist was in a bad way, broken leg.
Best part is, the driver blamed a stray dog running onto the road (we didn’t see a dog 🤷‍♂️) ….. and he got away with it.
He obviously just wanted the guy off his tail.

Do wonder if that cyclist learnt anything from that. Hope so.
yeah but it wasn't just the fact we missed our family get together, its the fact that how they can they shut a whole area off for the fact a load of bikes might take at least 5 minutes to ride past. the joke was also if anyone left their motor on the road they pay for every year it was to be towed away, as Catherine Tate would say " what a F........g Cheek.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkGHJuMh45k

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:40 pm

Yeah , i’ve got to be honest with you on this one, Wolfie, I do not see the problem. If everyone is given notice, then 🤷‍♂️….. thats it.
Could be worse. Could be North Korea where sh*t happens whereby there is no notice and if you complain, you’re taken away and never seen again!

:lol: Maybe a bit of an extreme example there, but you get my point. As a country, when it comes to that type of stuff, we are well warned in advance. I reckon if my neighbour complained to me about his car being towed, i’d ask if he “got the memo”…… if he said he did, then i’d ask why he didn’t move his feckin car, then i’d say “tough sh*te, mate.” :lol:

We live in a place where these bloody annoying horse trials take place every June. (Happening this week) ….. roads all closed, detours and parking restrictions. But we are well warned in advance. 🤷‍♂️ Not an issue.

Are you maybe saying the anniversary party had been planned for months and it was just a massive inconvenience? How long was “the bike event” a known thing? Could the anniversary celebrations been held somewhere else?

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Sat Jun 18, 2022 1:38 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:40 pm
Yeah , i’ve got to be honest with you on this one, Wolfie, I do not see the problem. If everyone is given notice, then 🤷‍♂️….. thats it.
Could be worse. Could be North Korea where sh*t happens whereby there is no notice and if you complain, you’re taken away and never seen again!

:lol: Maybe a bit of an extreme example there, but you get my point. As a country, when it comes to that type of stuff, we are well warned in advance. I reckon if my neighbour complained to me about his car being towed, i’d ask if he “got the memo”…… if he said he did, then i’d ask why he didn’t move his feckin car, then i’d say “tough sh*te, mate.” :lol:

We live in a place where these bloody annoying horse trials take place every June. (Happening this week) ….. roads all closed, detours and parking restrictions. But we are well warned in advance. 🤷‍♂️ Not an issue.

Are you maybe saying the anniversary party had been planned for months and it was just a massive inconvenience? How long was “the bike event” a known thing? Could the anniversary celebrations been held somewhere else?
No my problem is closing a main road for a whole day for these road tax avoiders,it just happened to be our party that day.
also locals have been complaining about the pot holes on this road for years, miraculously they were done 3 days before this event,

I always remember when i had a pub asking the council to close the road outside to celebrate a V.J.and V.E Day 50th Anniversary Day. and got turned down, this section of the road was only about 200 yards long,
That's my point, close roads for the right reason.

your point on towing away motors, OK the road had off street parking, Another road further into the City that was shut had no off road parking, this road was near the University which had a massive car par, Big sign on the entrance, Closed on Sunday to non University card holders, WHY.

When they had an international Triathlon in Leeds recently they stopped them closing roads as they had the years before in the City, and held the whole event in a park. Well done Leeds.

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Sat Jun 18, 2022 7:34 pm

Yes, fixing potholes for the bike event is indeed annoying……. Especially if complaints have been going in for months / years.

Was the same years ago when Royalty, Popes or World leaders were arriving……, a month of roadworks leading up to the events.

But seriously, my whole point was only the possibility of not having sufficient notice. If i woke up and roads were shut, (if not for a fatal accident), I think i’d drive thru the roadblocks! :lol:

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Sat Jun 18, 2022 9:21 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 7:34 pm
Yes, fixing potholes for the bike event is indeed annoying……. Especially if complaints have been going in for months / years.

Was the same years ago when Royalty, Popes or World leaders were arriving……, a month of roadworks leading up to the events.

But seriously, my whole point was only the possibility of not having sufficient notice. If i woke up and roads were shut, (if not for a fatal accident), I think i’d drive thru the roadblocks! :lol:

Well when you get a letter with the times 2 weeks before stating the road will be closed from 8am, (not to bad) then from 7am,4 days before, then we find out only by us phoning them, its been changed to 6am. that's just incompetence by the local authorities,

I'm claiming a days Road Tax refund, and holding the mayors 3 wheeler as ransom till they pay up. 8)

well if the pope was visiting my City I'd dig the pot hols myself, 50ft deep lol. and as for your horse trials at least you have stuff for the roses, 8)

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Sun Jun 19, 2022 10:42 am

Potholes not an issue for Mr Pope, Wolfie......

Image

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Sun Jun 19, 2022 7:34 pm

marko69 wrote:
Sun Jun 19, 2022 10:42 am
Potholes not an issue for Mr Pope, Wolfie......

Image
:lol: :lol: :lol:
That was before it landed up our road,
.................................................Before and After
Image


Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one.
Michael J. Fox has a short one.
Madonna does not have one.
The Pope does not really use his.
And Justin Bieber always uses his.
What is it?
A last name.
Shame on you for thinking something else Marko

..........................................................................
Pope John Paul II When Pope John Paul II passed away, God greeted him at the Pearly Gates. "Thou be hungry, John?" saidth God. "I could eat," Saint John Paul replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they shared it.
While eating this humble meal, Pope John Paul looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and fine wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, he remained quiet.

The next day God again invited Pope John Paul to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again looking down, Pope John Paul could see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still he said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Pope John Paul could contain himself no longer. Meekly, he said: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! Forgive me, O God, but I just don't understand ... " God sighed: "Let's be honest, John Paul for just two people does it really pay to cook?"

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Mon Jun 20, 2022 8:17 pm

Getting off the 2 wheel topic, and moving onto Gardeners World.

Don't laugh, Wolfie Titchmarsh here decided to grow some flowers from seed, 8) got the dirt, pots, and the seeds,
her indoors like Pansies and Sweet William ? . so off to Homebase and buy a packet of both. and some little name sticks so i know which is which.

Set up this sort of miniature greenhouse in the shed and planted all the Pansies seeds as directed on back of the pack. And clearly labelled PANSIES.
next the Sweet William seeds, with the help of a magnifying glass all the little devils planted, and clearly labelled SWEET WILLIAM.

Remember i only had 2 x packets of seeds. clearly marked with pictures of the flower on each.

After 7/8 days as quoted on the packet these little green plants start growing,
All going well and after about 3 weeks put these plants into bigger pots, gave some to the son & daughter in-law, and daughter and hubby to grow at their homes.

Now the daughter in-law being really keen on the gardening said, these Sweet William plant must be related to the Tomato plant as they have exactly the same leaves.

All the pansies flowers come out fine but not the Sweet William. apparently they don't flower the first year.?

Sunday the Daughter in-law comes round and said you sure they are not tomato plants. Nope says the now professional gardener. anyway when she left I was watering the garden and there it was, a little yellow flower of a tomato. How could this happen,

Texted the daughter in-law and she said she knew as she apparently can point her phone at a plant and it tells you the name of it.

Anyway getting to the point, has everyone who bought these seeds from Homebase now got 50/60 tomato plants, or better still anyone want to buy
a shed load of tomatoes.
ImageImage

User avatar
marko69
Global Moderator
Posts: 21174
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there.

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by marko69 » Mon Jun 20, 2022 10:26 pm

To sort of get your thread back on topic…… buy a basket for the bike, ….. load said basket with delicious toms, …..get “on yer bike”, ….. go do a “toms on a bike” door2door salesman stint. 👍👌

Seriously though……. Good work…… never entertained gardening and plants stuff in my life. I did light a fire and smoked all the weeds but that was about it.

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 4760
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by number 9 » Mon Jun 20, 2022 10:43 pm

Those bloody gardeners with their bums sticking out on the edge of the road! I don’t know how many times I’ve had to swerve to prevent hitting a gardener’s arse! :lol:

User avatar
goldandblack
Posts: 5916
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
Location: in the doghouse

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by goldandblack » Mon Jun 20, 2022 11:01 pm

marko69 wrote:
Mon Jun 20, 2022 10:26 pm
To sort of get your thread back on topic…… buy a basket for the bike, ….. load said basket with delicious toms, …..get “on yer bike”, ….. go do a “toms on a bike” door2door salesman stint. 👍👌

Seriously though……. Good work…… never entertained gardening and plants stuff in my life. I did light a fire and smoked all the weeds but that was about it.
was my first and last time mate, seemed a good idea at the time, :( on the plus side tho my bones don't allow me to reach the ground to plant them in the real dirt stuff, so easy to just lose the pots lol

User avatar
number 9
Posts: 4760
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm

Re: On yer BIKES, Bikes

Post by number 9 » Mon Jun 20, 2022 11:26 pm

Wolfie…got a pickle up your arse? :lol:

Post Reply