Empty Nest
Moderators: marko69, Bluemike, Charnwood
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Empty Nest
My youngest daughter just moved to Georgia, so it’s just me and the cat now. Just curious how others have experienced the same thing with a child leaving home. I’m a bit sad, but I know it’s just another chapter in life.
- Bluemike
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 29776
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
- Location: Ipswich
Re: Empty Nest
Hi 9, totally relate to how you are feeling right now, last Thursday marked 5 years that I have lived in this house by myself. My circumstances are different from yours in as much as I went through a marriage breakdown which resulted in us going our seperate ways with my then Eleven years old daughter going with her mum, that was as tough as it gets, suddenly not living with her through her early teenage years etc, it came hot on the heels of my son Thomas (AylesburyBlue) leaving home to go to Uni etc and find his way in the world which I so wanted him to do but being my best friend as well as my son I found it tough tbh.
So in the space of a year or two it went from a family home to just me, that really does take some adjusting, initially there was times of feeling lost and a bit hollow, feeling down and sorry for yourself, gradually you start to realise only you can make it work, I am blessed that I have some fab friends who helped no end, going out and not just wallowing around at home was key for me.
We do a full circle because this situation brought about me deciding football was my escape and while I'd always loved it I took it to another level of going away every game too, I've always felt it is as much a social thing for me as it is the football itself, so that's what I did and it helped me through tough tough times.
So in short you will probably feel totally lost for a time bud but its how you address it that matters, for me the freedom to go out with whoever I want when I want is great, fun without the ties lol, your situation is different but the initial feelings will be the same I expect. I'm sure you'll be fine after the initial period.
So in the space of a year or two it went from a family home to just me, that really does take some adjusting, initially there was times of feeling lost and a bit hollow, feeling down and sorry for yourself, gradually you start to realise only you can make it work, I am blessed that I have some fab friends who helped no end, going out and not just wallowing around at home was key for me.
We do a full circle because this situation brought about me deciding football was my escape and while I'd always loved it I took it to another level of going away every game too, I've always felt it is as much a social thing for me as it is the football itself, so that's what I did and it helped me through tough tough times.
So in short you will probably feel totally lost for a time bud but its how you address it that matters, for me the freedom to go out with whoever I want when I want is great, fun without the ties lol, your situation is different but the initial feelings will be the same I expect. I'm sure you'll be fine after the initial period.
- marko69
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 24371
- Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there.
Re: Empty Nest
Trust me, 9....... time is the healer. It gets better. And potentially hearing that your daughter is having a great time in Georgia will make things better too.
My youngest son, (and also my best pal) ...., has just returned from a two year stint in Asia / Australia....., but the day he left?? My God. Empty Nest was an understatement. But it got better and it got better quickly because I knew he was having a great time.
Chin up, buddy.
And Mike....... glad you’ve come through the marital stuff. Been through it myself 20 years ago and it wasn’t great. Again, in that scenario, time was the healer.
My youngest son, (and also my best pal) ...., has just returned from a two year stint in Asia / Australia....., but the day he left?? My God. Empty Nest was an understatement. But it got better and it got better quickly because I knew he was having a great time.
Chin up, buddy.
And Mike....... glad you’ve come through the marital stuff. Been through it myself 20 years ago and it wasn’t great. Again, in that scenario, time was the healer.
- Frosty
- Forum Owner
- Posts: 4111
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:46 am
Re: Empty Nest
I wish mine would p*ss off sometimes, but I guess this is not helping the convo fella ![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
-
- Posts: 5376
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:47 pm
- Location: Mid Suffolk
Re: Empty Nest
My youngest moved out about 3 months ago. Not far enough unfortunately. He's just come in ranting about a customer who won't pay him. Make the most of the space, the peace and enjoy having time to yourself.
- Ohiotractorboy
- Posts: 2436
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:48 am
- Location: Central Ohio
Re: Empty Nest
I have one entering senior year, and one entering sophomore year, so oldest is in college next summer and other in three. After having them and school occupy so much of our lives the past decade-plus, the Mrs and I will have to see if we still like each other, then I think travel is in the cards.
I also believe teenage years are God's way of letting you not miss them![Astroll :astroll:](./images/smilies/icon_astroll.gif)
I also believe teenage years are God's way of letting you not miss them
![Astroll :astroll:](./images/smilies/icon_astroll.gif)
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Yep, the terrible twos and the torturous teens!
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Just wanted to update everyone on the depressing Empty Nest thread that someone posted. My oldest daughter is coming to visit the end of July. I haven’t seen her since last year. I told her, as long as you don’t have a temperature you’re always welcome! ![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
-
- Posts: 5376
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:47 pm
- Location: Mid Suffolk
Re: Empty Nest
This reminds md if a fsvebook pist ibsaw recently...
"My husband and I have decided that we don't want children.
We are going to tell them this evening. "
"My husband and I have decided that we don't want children.
We are going to tell them this evening. "
- Charnwood
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 19209
- Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
- Location: Moraira, Spain.
- Charnwood
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 19209
- Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
- Location: Moraira, Spain.
Re: Empty Nest
As much as I love my two daughters and always look forward to spending quality time with them, an empty nest is better than overcrowded one with kids that never leave home. We have one or two friends in their late 60’s who have kids in their late 30’s early 40’s still living at home (or back home) and what a nightmare it is for them.
My pair both left home after travelling and going to University and never came home again after graduation. Both were attracted to the career opportunities and earning potential of working in London and have never looked back since.
Life has to move on, and I think it’s so rewarding seeing your kids develop their independence, hopefully prosper and nurture the next generation so you can see your grand children on their way to repeating the same experience.
Unfortunately both my daughters and grandchildren are thousands of miles away in the US but we still manage to see them at least twice a year, once in America, once in Spain, occasionally on holiday somewhere neutral. We speak on FaceTime usually once a week which is a great way of staying in touch. At the moment we can see both daughters on the same trip as one is in Manhattan NYC and the other Westport Connecticut, but it look most likely the youngest will be moving to Los Angeles later this year which will make visiting more complicated. Unfortunately it will also mean we can’t see all four grand children on the same trip.
My pair both left home after travelling and going to University and never came home again after graduation. Both were attracted to the career opportunities and earning potential of working in London and have never looked back since.
Life has to move on, and I think it’s so rewarding seeing your kids develop their independence, hopefully prosper and nurture the next generation so you can see your grand children on their way to repeating the same experience.
Unfortunately both my daughters and grandchildren are thousands of miles away in the US but we still manage to see them at least twice a year, once in America, once in Spain, occasionally on holiday somewhere neutral. We speak on FaceTime usually once a week which is a great way of staying in touch. At the moment we can see both daughters on the same trip as one is in Manhattan NYC and the other Westport Connecticut, but it look most likely the youngest will be moving to Los Angeles later this year which will make visiting more complicated. Unfortunately it will also mean we can’t see all four grand children on the same trip.
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Man it sucks when you lose a loved one. My dear old Dad passed away today. He loved Ipswich Town even though he knew very little about English football. His favorite player was Colin Viljoen. He was stationed at Bentwaters Air Force base and met my mother in Woodbridge. We went to an away game at QPR once; he did it for me. He’d always cheer for ITFC & Bobby Robson. I hope you’re having a cold beer in heaven Dad! RIP Dad! I love you!
- Bluemike
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 29776
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
- Location: Ipswich
Re: Empty Nest
Hey mate, I am so so sorry to read about the passing of your dad, I completely know how you are feeling as I too lost mine in January. Remember the happy memories mate and keep your chin up. Thinking of you buddy.
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Thanks mate! I'm feeling better today. 2020 has just been horrible for me. Hope you're still staying safe and sane. Take care!
- goldandblack
- Posts: 6965
- Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
- Location: in the doghouse
Re: Empty Nest
Sincere condolences to you and the family mate, a truly sad time for you,number 9 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:38 pmMan it sucks when you lose a loved one. My dear old Dad passed away today. He loved Ipswich Town even though he knew very little about English football. His favorite player was Colin Viljoen. He was stationed at Bentwaters Air Force base and met my mother in Woodbridge. We went to an away game at QPR once; he did it for me. He’d always cheer for ITFC & Bobby Robson. I hope you’re having a cold beer in heaven Dad! RIP Dad! I love you!
Last edited by goldandblack on Sat Jul 18, 2020 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Cheers Wolfie! Good luck in the semi final!goldandblack wrote: ↑Sat Jul 18, 2020 12:46 pmSincere consonances to you and the family mate, a truly sad time for you,number 9 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:38 pmMan it sucks when you lose a loved one. My dear old Dad passed away today. He loved Ipswich Town even though he knew very little about English football. His favorite player was Colin Viljoen. He was stationed at Bentwaters Air Force base and met my mother in Woodbridge. We went to an away game at QPR once; he did it for me. He’d always cheer for ITFC & Bobby Robson. I hope you’re having a cold beer in heaven Dad! RIP Dad! I love you!
- goldandblack
- Posts: 6965
- Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:48 am
- Location: in the doghouse
Re: Empty Nest
I Think you might just edge it matenumber 9 wrote: ↑Sat Jul 18, 2020 12:48 pmCheers Wolfie! Good luck in the semi final!goldandblack wrote: ↑Sat Jul 18, 2020 12:46 pmSincere condolences to you and the family mate, a truly sad time for you,number 9 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:38 pmMan it sucks when you lose a loved one. My dear old Dad passed away today. He loved Ipswich Town even though he knew very little about English football. His favorite player was Colin Viljoen. He was stationed at Bentwaters Air Force base and met my mother in Woodbridge. We went to an away game at QPR once; he did it for me. He’d always cheer for ITFC & Bobby Robson. I hope you’re having a cold beer in heaven Dad! RIP Dad! I love you!
![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
-
- Posts: 4916
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:52 am
Re: Empty Nest
Sorry to hear that, 9. All the best.
-
- Posts: 5376
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:47 pm
- Location: Mid Suffolk
Re: Empty Nest
Sorry to hear your news. It makes a difficult time even worse.
As Bluemike says in time you'll be able to focus on the good times and happy memories..
As Bluemike says in time you'll be able to focus on the good times and happy memories..
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Thanks again for all of the kind words.
- marko69
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 24371
- Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there.
Re: Empty Nest
Ah, just saw this. Sorry to read this, 9. Hope you're doing ok and managing to cope with the loss. Time is forever the healer.
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
- Bluemike
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 29776
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
- Location: Ipswich
Re: Empty Nest
Hope all goes as well as it can 9
- Charnwood
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 19209
- Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:25 pm
- Location: Moraira, Spain.
Re: Empty Nest
Hope all went well yesterday No 9.![🌹](//cdn.jsdelivr.net/emojione/assets/3.1/png/64/1f339.png)
![🌹](http://cdn.jsdelivr.net/emojione/assets/3.1/png/64/1f339.png)
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Thanks again everyone for you kind thoughts. We've all had our disagreements in the past, and you've all made me realize what true gentlemen you are. I'm sorry for bringing my personal life on to the forum, but I sincerely appreciate your support. As I've said, 2020 has been a difficult year for many. Let's hope for a happier future for everyone.
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Granted I’ve had a few beers tonight, but I have to share an idea. With the emergence of the vaccine, what if we make T-shirts that say:
“I got the jab. I support ITFC. Tractor-boys.com!”
On the front.
COYBS...vertical on the back?
Thoughts?
Didn’t wanna create a new thread for this.
“I got the jab. I support ITFC. Tractor-boys.com!”
On the front.
COYBS...vertical on the back?
Thoughts?
Didn’t wanna create a new thread for this.
- marko69
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 24371
- Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:16 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there.
Re: Empty Nest
Might not need to have the t-shirt after the jab, 9.
Maybe with everyone limping and dragging their right foot with slavours dripping from the corner of their mouths will be enough to let people know?![🤷♂️](//cdn.jsdelivr.net/emojione/assets/3.1/png/64/1f937-2642.png)
Maybe with everyone limping and dragging their right foot with slavours dripping from the corner of their mouths will be enough to let people know?
![🤷♂️](http://cdn.jsdelivr.net/emojione/assets/3.1/png/64/1f937-2642.png)
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
- number 9
- Posts: 6659
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:35 pm
Re: Empty Nest
Apartment upstairs has been vacant for a couple months. I’ve been hoping the new tenant would be an early thirties female divorcée. Today Nigerians moved in! A Honda Civic pulled up and no less than 8 people exited the vehicle! It’s only a one bedroom apartment! I thought it was funny, but apparently no one else does. There you go nicsreamer...black lives matter mate! ![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
- Bluemike
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 29776
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 5:26 pm
- Location: Ipswich
Re: Empty Nest
Don't know about take the knee, that's take the Pee