Olympics in Beijing 2022

[marko69]

The Mrs after hearing about the scam and no cash! Brilliant

Got a quick kitchen story, Wolfie but I wasn't involved. Hilarious though.

Kitchen salesman guy taps on big fat, fudge donut munchin' Uncle John's door down in Port Seton, East Lothian. John invites him in. Conv went like this.

"Interested in a new kitchen, Sir?"
"Aye, too right, that sounds great. Come on in."

Guy hands brochures to John and wee slim, overly obsessed with jigsaws Auntie Julie, then starts measuring the kitchen walls.

(Long story short: One ENTIRE hour and half later)

"Now Sir, we can do all those choices you have chosen for £12,500."
"12 and a half grand. That is FANTASTIC!"
"Happy to hear you say that Sir."
"It is EXCELLENT. And the council don't mind paying that much?"

10 second silence, glum face on salesman.

"Is, err......., this a council house? You do not own it?"
"Naaaaaaw son, I dinnae own this. Never owned a hoose. Its a council house."

Salesman slams his briefcase shut, almost breaks the flappy clips that hold it closed. Gets up and storms down the hallway.
John: "Am a no gettin ma kitchen, son?"
Salesman: "f*ck off!"

[goldandblack]

The Mrs after hearing about the scam and no cash! Brilliant

Got a quick kitchen story, Wolfie but I wasn't involved. Hilarious though.

Kitchen salesman guy taps on big fat, fudge donut munchin' Uncle John's door down in Port Seton, East Lothian. John invites him in. Conv went like this.

"Interested in a new kitchen, Sir?"
"Aye, too right, that sounds great. Come on in."

Guy hands brochures to John and wee slim, overly obsessed with jigsaws Auntie Julie, then starts measuring the kitchen walls.

(Long story short: One ENTIRE hour and half later)

"Now Sir, we can do all those choices you have chosen for £12,500."
"12 and a half grand. That is FANTASTIC!"
"Happy to hear you say that Sir."
"It is EXCELLENT. And the council don't mind paying that much?"

10 second silence, glum face on salesman.

"Is, err......., this a council house? You do not own it?"
"Naaaaaaw son, I dinnae own this. Never owned a hoose. Its a council house."

Salesman slams his briefcase shut, almost breaks the flappy clips that hold it closed. Gets up and storms down the hallway.
John: "Am a no gettin ma kitchen, son?"
Salesman: "f*ck off!"

Brilliant Uncle John, bet that rep checks in future,

I went with one rep to see how to sell a kitchen, He said before we get there my "secret is to imaging and picture £700 on the mantelpiece and not to leave the house until it was yours."
Anyway all the usual pater went on, I sat on the sofa just watching, it was obvious this couple wasn't going to buy this kitchen,and the fella was getting a bit agitated, I started looking under the cushions and all around the room from the sofa,
on the way back this rep said what the hell were you doing, I said i couldn't see or find your £700 notes anywhere, but it was definitely on the mantlepiece when we got here

[marko69]

[Frosty]

Loving these stories guys, my brother is a sparky

[goldandblack]

Loving these stories guys, my brother is a sparky

bet he's a bit of a shocker Dave,
Anyway talking of stories we are all still waiting on your promised ghost story

[goldandblack]

Before the story on starting fitting a kitchen in the Rght town, Right Street, but wrong house.

Just a short story I found funny, all cat lovers turn away now

Got this job fitting a kitchen on the 12th floor of these flats
On arrival this really nice lady in the flat who lived on her own greeted us with “would you like a cup of tea before you start”. What a result
Had tea and biscuits and started lugging all this stuff up in the lift, this lady was talking nonstop even when we weren’t there,

She even offered to help bring the gear up. Anyway started ripping out the old kitchen and she would'nt leave this very small area kitchen and kept talking no stop.and getting in the way, kept dropping hints to clear off,
Lugging the old kitchen down the lift was a rest of the ears,

Anyway getting to the point, after many hours and loads of tea, Sandwiches, and a offer of dinner
still nonstop jaw ache she said she used to have a cat but one day it just jumped out of the window 12 story’s up. She said she couldn’t understand why this cat did it.
Enter Mr diplomatic ( plumber) bro-in laws comment, He said “ well I can”
Well I was half in a cupboard fixing the tops, and I cracked up. I was laughing so much I had tears in my eyes, trying to keep a straight face I had to leave the flat, took me ages to compose myself, didnt want to show any disrespect to this lovely lady.
When I got back she said sorry if I upset you, you must really like cats, ( I can’t stand the hairy mutts )
She literally hadn’t stopped talking all day. and was glad to get out,

[marko69]

Before the story on starting fitting a kitchen in the Rght town, Right Street, but wrong house.

Just a short story I found funny, all cat lovers turn away now

Got this job fitting a kitchen on the 12th floor of these flats
On arrival this really nice lady in the flat who lived on her own greeted us with “would you like a cup of tea before you start”. What a result
Had tea and biscuits and started lugging all this stuff up in the lift, this lady was talking nonstop even when we weren’t there,

She even offered to help bring the gear up. Anyway started ripping out the old kitchen and she would'nt leave this very small area kitchen and kept talking no stop.and getting in the way, kept dropping hints to clear off,
Lugging the old kitchen down the lift was a rest of the ears,

Anyway getting to the point, after many hours and loads of tea, Sandwiches, and a offer of dinner
still nonstop jaw ache she said she used to have a cat but one day it just jumped out of the window 12 story’s up. She said she couldn’t understand why this cat did it.
Enter Mr diplomatic ( plumber) bro-in laws comment, He said “ well I can”
Well I was half in a cupboard fixing the tops, and I cracked up. I was laughing so much I had tears in my eyes, trying to keep a straight face I had to leave the flat, took me ages to compose myself, didnt want to show any disrespect to this lovely lady.
When I got back she said sorry if I upset you, you must really like cats, ( I can’t stand the hairy mutts )
She literally hadn’t stopped talking all day. and was glad to get out,

That is classic

[goldandblack]

Before the story on starting fitting a kitchen in the Rght town, Right Street, but wrong house.

Just a short story I found funny, all cat lovers turn away now

Got this job fitting a kitchen on the 12th floor of these flats
On arrival this really nice lady in the flat who lived on her own greeted us with “would you like a cup of tea before you start”. What a result
Had tea and biscuits and started lugging all this stuff up in the lift, this lady was talking nonstop even when we weren’t there,

She even offered to help bring the gear up. Anyway started ripping out the old kitchen and she would'nt leave this very small area kitchen and kept talking no stop.and getting in the way, kept dropping hints to clear off,
Lugging the old kitchen down the lift was a rest of the ears,

Anyway getting to the point, after many hours and loads of tea, Sandwiches, and a offer of dinner
still nonstop jaw ache she said she used to have a cat but one day it just jumped out of the window 12 story’s up. She said she couldn’t understand why this cat did it.
Enter Mr diplomatic ( plumber) bro-in laws comment, He said “ well I can”
Well I was half in a cupboard fixing the tops, and I cracked up. I was laughing so much I had tears in my eyes, trying to keep a straight face I had to leave the flat, took me ages to compose myself, didnt want to show any disrespect to this lovely lady.
When I got back she said sorry if I upset you, you must really like cats, ( I can’t stand the hairy mutts )
She literally hadn’t stopped talking all day. and was glad to get out,

That is classic

you must have been in that situation mate, where the customer cant leave you to get on with the job,

[marko69]

Definitely yes, but the cat couldn't stand it any longer......, "Fk this...., Meeeeeeowww!" oot the window to its death.

I recorded a guy talking at a job right beside Tynecastle Park a few years back. Guy wanted extras on the job and the guy doing the job for me asked to me to pop round. When I'd priced the job, the clients Mrs was the person I spoke to; he wasn't there.
Mikey, (the guy doing the job) said to me on the phone, "give yourself at least half an hour. This guy doesn't shut the hell up."

After ten minutes, I casually put the voice recorder to on on my phone. Non stop speaking as my own wife wouldn't believe me.

"Hi Mark, saying to Mikey, probably best the taller radiator in the back bedroom, lived in a house few years back, not enough heat in one of the rooms, condensation problem, thought to myself, this because of the hob use at midnight making the new honey oats porridge that I like so much, thought, cant be, but that was the other house, this house is different obviously, and I eat Sugar Puffs these days anyway, not as good for you but man, delicious, and your pee can sometimes smell like sugar puffs, thats when I know Ive ate to much of them, but ANYWAY, this radiator........"
Recorded on my phone, straight up.

[goldandblack]

Definitely yes, but the cat couldn't stand it any longer......, "Fk this...., Meeeeeeowww!" oot the window to its death.

I recorded a guy talking at a job right beside Tynecastle Park a few years back. Guy wanted extras on the job and the guy doing the job for me asked to me to pop round. When I'd priced the job, the clients Mrs was the person I spoke to; he wasn't there.
Mikey, (the guy doing the job) said to me on the phone, "give yourself at least half an hour. This guy doesn't shut the hell up."

After ten minutes, I casually put the voice recorder to on on my phone. Non stop speaking as my own wife wouldn't believe me.

"Hi Mark, saying to Mikey, probably best the taller radiator in the back bedroom, lived in a house few years back, not enough heat in one of the rooms, condensation problem, thought to myself, this because of the hob use at midnight making the new honey oats porridge that I like so much, thought, cant be, but that was the other house, this house is different obviously, and I eat Sugar Puffs these days anyway, not as good for you but man, delicious, and your pee can sometimes smell like sugar puffs, thats when I know Ive ate to much of them, but ANYWAY, this radiator........"
Recorded on my phone, straight up.

yeah they are all out there mate, Quick question, I had a boiler man out today as the water kept going hot then cold in the shower, this fella has a look and says it must be the shower as the boiler was ok. the wife said how come it does the same in the kitchen then, this fella said " no idea" and leaves, I was out at the time so going to have a word tomorrow, so i don't look a fool can he be right, its a combi boiler

[number 9]

I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever started a thread without it being hijacked by Marko or Wolfie!

[marko69]

The cheapest issue would be a temperature sensor.
If the temp fluctuations are at all the taps and the shower, Wolfie, it's could also be a plate to plate heat exchanger issue. (getting a bit choked) or there is grit at the flow switch just prior to the plate to plate. If the water passing through isn't at a steady rate, it causes the paddle switch to go on / off / on / off and causing the hot cold variations....... The paddle switch fires the combi on water demand. That could be the issue if not the sensor.
Is it a hard water area?

[goldandblack]

The cheapest issue would be a temperature sensor.
If the temp fluctuations are at all the taps and the shower, Wolfie, it's could also be a plate to plate heat exchanger issue. (getting a bit choked) or there is grit at the flow switch just prior to the plate to plate. If the water passing through isn't at a steady rate, it causes the paddle switch to go on / off / on / off and causing the hot cold variations....... The paddle switch fires the combi on water demand. That could be the issue if not the sensor.
Is it a hard water area?

Thanks for that mate, yes its a very hard water area,

[marko69]

The cheapest issue would be a temperature sensor.
If the temp fluctuations are at all the taps and the shower, Wolfie, it's could also be a plate to plate heat exchanger issue. (getting a bit choked) or there is grit at the flow switch just prior to the plate to plate. If the water passing through isn't at a steady rate, it causes the paddle switch to go on / off / on / off and causing the hot cold variations....... The paddle switch fires the combi on water demand. That could be the issue if not the sensor.
Is it a hard water area?

Thanks for that mate, yes its a very hard water area,

Do you have a lime descaler installed? If not......., advise getting one.

[goldandblack]

The cheapest issue would be a temperature sensor.
If the temp fluctuations are at all the taps and the shower, Wolfie, it's could also be a plate to plate heat exchanger issue. (getting a bit choked) or there is grit at the flow switch just prior to the plate to plate. If the water passing through isn't at a steady rate, it causes the paddle switch to go on / off / on / off and causing the hot cold variations....... The paddle switch fires the combi on water demand. That could be the issue if not the sensor.
Is it a hard water area?

Thanks for that mate, yes its a very hard water area,

Do you have a lime descaler installed? If not......., advise getting one.

No not that im aware of, would that be fitted to the main supply before it gets to the boiler,

[marko69]

Yep. How old is the boiler? Because boilers within the last ten years (more actually) have Benchmark document to be filled out by the installer. Details re Hard water areas are all there. Do you still have all your boiler installation literature?

[goldandblack]

Yep. How old is the boiler? Because boilers within the last ten years (more actually) have Benchmark document to be filled out by the installer. Details re Hard water areas are all there. Do you still have all your boiler installation literature?

its definitely been in the last 5 yrs, will have a look tomorrow as it says on the boiler the dated fitted i think.
will hunt out the installation literature? as the wife throws nothing away,

[marko69]

[goldandblack]

I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever started a thread without it being hijacked by Marko or Wolfie!

just trying to keep your brilliant thread going mate,
PS, when does this actual Olympics start ?

[marko69]

I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever started a thread without it being hijacked by Marko or Wolfie!

just trying to keep your brilliant thread going mate,
PS, when does this actual Olympics start ?

We are cereal hijackers, Wolfie. Got a van load o’ cornflakes today.

[goldandblack]

I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever started a thread without it being hijacked by Marko or Wolfie!

just trying to keep your brilliant thread going mate,
PS, when does this actual Olympics start ?

We are cereal hijackers, Wolfie. Got a van load o’ cornflakes today.

yeah and that Mr 9 keeps pouring cold milk on it ,