MARCO.You up for a game of golf

[goldandblack]

Leader Board after 4 holes

Marco..........19......+3
G & B..........21......+5
Frosty...........22......+6 (all shots played by Mikie the Mole Catcher)
Charnwood....... 30 + 14
No 9..............31 +15


HOLE 5..................

514 Yards........Par...5....
Wind …..........35mph left to right.


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Another generously wide fairway to a green that is reachable in two with any breeze helping.
Seven pot bunkers guard the right of the fairway, and if you get in those you just have to splash out sideways.
If you can't reach the green in two you have to lay up short of a couple of pot bunkers called The Spectacles.
Players going for the green in two have to hit it over a big hollow. If the ball lands in this you're never quite sure if you're going to get an upslope soft bounce or a downslope shooter.
The massive green is an acre and a half and 95 yards from front to back. Often players find the green but are still left with an enormous putt.
It's often the easiest hole on the course and yields plenty of birdies but it can be tricky if you get in any of the pot bunkers.
Hole O'Cross: Some say the hole is named after a chasm the players had to "cross", others that there was once a cross here.
The Spectacles bunkers: Obvious choice of name because of the perfectly circular bunkers positioned either side of the approach to the green.

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Your Tee off Marko.
message from Charnwood. " can you ask Spike to take my turn as this bear has fallen asleep under this tree."
and No 9 is out of A & E with a plaster cast on his leg so Mikie will take his shot.
Frosty should be here for the Tee Off.

They say this 5th hole should sort the men out from the boys. looks like its just you and me then Marco. suppose there all use some lame excuse again.

[goldandblack]

got to get down the St Andrew bar Thursday night by 7pm, there's two legends appearing for one night only.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BcYSsGFk_M

[marko69]

I'll be there for that!

[goldandblack]

I'll be there for that!

reading up on the 5th hole stats I think we need to keep the ball to the LEFT and miss those 7 bunkers.
the winds left to right so I think its best to aim for that little tent type thing with that little old lady selling that rare china stuff.
that should mean the wind will keep us well away from her. or shall I ask here to move.

You Seen anything of that Frosty NZ.

there's some nice plates there, I asked how much and she said there priceless so I offered her nothing,
she got quite nasty, no sence of humour aye.
she said theres 12 altogether but only put 6 out on show and the other 6 are on the back seat of her car, there made by Wedgewood.. sounds sort of Golfy aye.



look the Angel Leigh has turned up to go to the Golden Mol. might be a bit late back so start without me OK.

[goldandblack]

right I'm back, Do me a favour Marco, next time Leigh turns up driving the bus to Wolvo tell him I'm out.

I'm ready to start another epic journey to the 5th green

look what I've found, this could be a lead to the disappearance of my friend that disappeared from the great Fraserburge race. I don't like the look of that paw print tho.

[goldandblack]

good show down at the club tonight,
i really thought it was Michael Jackson, couldn't tell the difference. think Wendy Wolfie looked more like Hilda Ogden tho

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BcYSsGFk_M

[marko69]

Heading to Wickes tomorrow for a Makita 8406 Diamond core drill. Its got my name on it. Core drill clutch goosed on me today. Nearly broke my feckin wrist.

So, because of the sore wrist....., Tatania is teeing off for me.
Go for it, honey.....

THWACK.........., what a sweet shot, Wolfie. She has smacked it right up the middle of the fairway. I said to her....., "You hit a golf ball like a man"......., she said, "Well I have got hair on my chest"........, I said, "No way!"......., so she gave me a look, and sure enough she has hair in between her breasts......., I said, "How far down does the hair go?"......., she said, "Right down to my balls, mate!"

Hmmm...., looking at Tats a bit differently now. I want Minsh back

[goldandblack]

Heading to Wickes tomorrow for a Makita 8406 Diamond core drill. Its got my name on it. Core drill clutch goosed on me today. Nearly broke my feckin wrist.

So, because of the sore wrist....., Tatania is teeing off for me.
Go for it, honey.....

THWACK.........., what a sweet shot, Wolfie. She has smacked it right up the middle of the fairway. I said to her....., "You hit a golf ball like a man"......., she said, "Well I have got hair on my chest"........, I said, "No way!"......., so she gave me a look, and sure enough she has hair in between her breasts......., I said, "How far down does the hair go?"......., she said, "Right down to my balls, mate!"

Hmmm...., looking at Tats a bit differently now. I want Minsh back

good reliable drills those Mikita's,





that was a brilliant shot,you sure its your arm and not that bottle of Bells you consumed in the club earlier, you could have the edge here..

Mikie to take Charnwoods shot, AGAIN.

FORE'''''''Well i'm not laughing, but I have never seen the tee travel further than the ball before,

Spike, when you get back up can you take No 9s Shot.

FORE''' great shot Spike. well it nudged Charnwoods ball another 4".

Frosty's shot. I think he's finally here..

I'll take my shot while Frosty explains his duty free to those customs men.

FORE'''', WOW.we are getting better at this Marco. my ball is level with yours.

UPDATE..
Marco 1st shot, 250 yds
G&B 1st shot, 251 yds
Charnwood, 1st shot, 6"
No 9 1st shot, 4"
Frosty still on tee,

[marko69]

Charnwoods Mrs has just phoned the clubhouse, ......., she was laughing her a$$ off......., apparently he is no where close to 6". Think she misunderstood the wording.

[marko69]

Latest from Frosterino......, he had made it to the Scottish borders but they shut the snow gates on Soutra Hill. He's apparently snuggled up at the foot of a wind turbine surrounded by sheep..... He says it's to keep him warm. Yeah right!

I can't get Testicle Tatania to wait......, she got the 6 iron out for the second shot......, she's smacked it a peach and it's just disappeared into the hole believe it or not. I said "Wow, that's a feckin albatross, Tats!"......., she screamed and ran away. I caught up with her/him and she said cute wee birdies and non agressive eagles are ok...... But strictly no albatrosses. She/he is a a weird one...... But kicks a$$ at the gopher game.

[goldandblack]

Latest from Frosterino......, he had made it to the Scottish borders but they shut the snow gates on Soutra Hill. He's apparently snuggled up at the foot of a wind turbine surrounded by sheep..... He says it's to keep him warm. Yeah right!

I can't get Testicle Tatania to wait......, she got the 6 iron out for the second shot......, she's smacked it a peach and it's just disappeared into the hole believe it or not. I said "Wow, that's a feckin albatross, Tats!"......., she screamed and ran away. I caught up with her/him and she said cute wee birdies and non agressive eagles are ok...... But strictly no albatrosses. She/he is a a weird one...... But kicks a$$ at the gopher game.

Do you remember that Sketch on Monty Python about an albatross, think it was some woman trying to sell them from an ice cream van.. might be wrong.

yeah I see that. an amazing shot, it didn't even bounce did it, it was like there was a big magnet in the hole because it seemed to stop 3ft above hole and dropped in like a lead balloon.

back to our missing Frosty, I suppose it comes down to being a New Zealander, when the going gets tough Kiwi's get going. the other way


OK its my shot, FORE; blimey that's gone high, what's one of those albatrosses things look like, does it have a funny looking beak, its circling the green, drop it you stupid bird. drop it. oh god its flying over that rare china shop with those plate, sho sho.

Think while we wait its mikie's shot for Charnwood. FORE. Yessssssssssss he's just doubled his first shot its now 12" from the tee.

Spike. No 9 shot..
FORE; unlucky Mikie. you landed just behind Charnwoods ball..

Frosty,, come on your still to tee off.

[goldandblack]

UPDATE..
Marco. Shot.2. and in the hole for TWO. ......................
G&B 1st shot, 251 yds ...2nd Shot somewhere circling the old St Andrews course.
Charnwood, 2nd shot, 12" from the tee, ill you stop laughing Mrs Charnwood we are trying to be serious
No 9 2nd shot 11" from the tee,
Frosty still on tee,


Spike. give me that gun, got it in one and its landed on the green,

that bird looks like a dodo bird

So Marco shot an Albatross and I've shot a Dodo,

[marko69]

Hey...... Is that Sting over there?....... "A dodo doh doh, a dodo doh da,......" Pretty sure he's singing to that bird who's got yer ball, wolfie.

[goldandblack]

Hey...... Is that Sting over there?....... "A dodo doh doh, a dodo doh da,......" Pretty sure he's singing to that bird who's got yer ball, wolfie.

Looks a bit like Sting, and sounds a bit like Sting, there's only one small problem here, I think that bird is dead. I said to Spike I thought the dodo bird was extinct, he said well it is now


I think its best not to tell Sting as I think he's part of the Police, Spike Dont stand so close to me...its down to you all this, ...Every Breath you take, has been trouble, if the Police ask I know nothing OK..

your Shot No 9.

FORE; great shot, how you managed to get that ball over Charnwoods ball I just don't know.

your shot Charnwood

FORE; great shot, how you managed to get that ball over No 9s ball I just don't know.

Frosty.

My Putt,, YESSSS down in 3.

UPDATE..
Marco. Down in 2..
G&B.... Down in 3..
Charnwood, 3nd shot, 18" from the tee,
No 9 3nd shot 17" from the tee,
Frosty still on tee,

[marko69]

Wolfie........, seriously....... What are Mikey, spike, Charnwood and 9 doing here in this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuE ... ata_player

Guys, this is a serious tournament. I'm not amused.

[goldandblack]

Wolfie........, seriously....... What are Mikey, spike, Charnwood and 9 doing here in this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuE ... ata_player

Guys, this is a serious tournament. I'm not amused.

yeah its a sad state of affairs mate, I think Pepsi had more going for him at golf. I miss that Pepsi, SNIFF SNIFF.


trouble is the've had 3 shots already and there still not off the tee yet, well except Frosty who hasn't even reached the 1st hole tee yet. but we both seem to have hit top form..





talking Wickes; As the leading plumber in Scotland, do you ever use this push fit 15m plumbing pipes and joints .We use them in the pub Seller. easy to use and cheap..





not to sure about these tho

[marko69]

Is that Wickes own brand or is it Speedfit? Looks like Speedfit. Mainly use copper myself, Wolfie. If I need to use the plastic, I prefer Hep2o. The copper fitting at the bottom are a total nightmare. If there is any discrepancy on the pipe at all, they leak.

That's mick McCarthy just arrived at St Andrews for a game of golf. Apparently after Nugents 2nd today, he stormed out shouting, "AH FK OFF, DO WHAT THE FK YOU WANT." I've just told him to get the fkn kettle on.

[goldandblack]

Is that Wickes own brand or is it Speedfit? Looks like Speedfit. Mainly use copper myself, Wolfie. If I need to use the plastic, I prefer Hep2o. The copper fitting at the bottom are a total nightmare. If there is any discrepancy on the pipe at all, they leak.

That's mick McCarthy just arrived at St Andrews for a game of golf. Apparently after Nugents 2nd today, he stormed out shouting, "AH FK OFF, DO WHAT THE FK YOU WANT." I've just told him to get the fkn kettle on.

that Nugents been a pain to Mick and us for years,, but a good player, we were going to sign him a couple of times over the years.

think it is speedfit, agree not many plumbers would want to trust it on mains water, as I said we use it for the beer / gas lines, but we use flexible piping. and its visible all the time.

right where were we on this game.

[goldandblack]

Charnwoods 4th shot. FORE, that's better, oh shame that Irish tree was planted just there. its Rik O'shayed into the water hazard.

No 9, 4th shot; FORE; well at least you bye past the tree and went directly into the water hazard.

Frosty still on the tee,



Charnwood, 3nd shot, 18" from the tee,
No 9 3nd shot 17" from the tee,
Frosty still on tee,

[Frosty]

Look I'm really sorry guys, one of those Scottish sheep gave me a hell of a fright ...... jumped up quickly ...... and copped a nasty one on the head from one of those bloody wind turbine blades.

I have been looked after brilliantly by your world reknown NHS ..... yes that's right ..... I am still in the waiting room, but will be with you soonest!

[goldandblack]

[goldandblack]

Look I'm really sorry guys, one of those Scottish sheep gave me a hell of a fright ...... jumped up quickly ...... and copped a nasty one on the head from one of those bloody wind turbine blades.

tell you the truth, I think you and Marco are to good and I don't want to show my country up by losing to the cream of Scotland and the Black Country,also I am so in Awe of the Mighty Hibs & Wolves it would be an honour to be actually on the same course, even just to buy the drinks.

I have been looked after brilliantly by your world reknown NHS ..... yes that's right ..... I am still in the waiting room, but will be with you soonest!

I know we are good Frosty but we will take it easy on you. mines a Guinness please,

Yet another fine excuse Frosty. do you actually realise how much this Golf Masters has cost our sponsor's WICKS DIY
to put you in this top line up., it was a choice of you or some American called Lion Forest or summit like that, but Marco and myself said you would be a better pull for the thousands of fans who have turned up. look there's a banner over there saying.
Where's that ***** ********* from New Zealander. bit out of order really that, but they paid good money you know.

[marko69]

The world renowned NHS have kept my daughter alive on three occasions, Frosty due to diabetic complications, so maybe you didn't knock yer heid hard enough on the turbine blade, mate. Try and make the bump look worse, and you'll get seen quicker. Go headbutt a door or something.

Are there Mexicans joining in the game now, Wolfie? What's with the Underlay, Underlay?

[goldandblack]

Marco. you noticed my luck has changed in the P.L since I got me old avatar back. I think all white needs a new one lolo

[goldandblack]

The world renowned NHS have kept my daughter alive on three occasions, Frosty due to diabetic complications, so maybe you didn't knock yer heid hard enough on the turbine blade, mate. Try and make the bump look worse, and you'll get seen quicker. Go headbutt a door or something.

Are there Mexicans joining in the game now, Wolfie? What's with the Underlay, Underlay?

not got a clue mate but it was so cheap I had to get some,,

[marko69]

Marco. you noticed my luck has changed in the P.L since I got me old avatar back. I think all white needs a new one lolo

I've hurt my back looking down at the bottom of the PL table, Wolfie....., I haven't saw your rise up the ladder. I'll go look.

I've had the same avatar since I joined so I think I'll just stick with the fat bstd.

[goldandblack]

Marco. you noticed my luck has changed in the P.L since I got me old avatar back. I think all white needs a new one lolo

I've hurt my back looking down at the bottom of the PL table, Wolfie....., I haven't saw your rise up the ladder. I'll go look.

I've had the same avatar since I joined so I think I'll just stick with the fat bstd.

well not an exact a big rise up the league but a small step in the right direction.

Do you think this Kiwi is ever going to take his shot. I think the other 2 are so far behind us now they would never catch us aye.

[marko69]

I heard Hattie Jakes is the matron in the hospital......., she's gonnae make him sit all night long. I can't see a golf shot anytime soon from the Frosterino.

[goldandblack]

I heard Hattie Jakes is the matron in the hospital......., she's gonnae make him sit all night long. I can't see a golf shot anytime soon from the Frosterino.

no I think he will come good on this. probably turn up for the after match celebrations drinks.

spike, take Charnwoods shot please.

Fore ;; not a bad shot from the water Spike, did it actually move, cant see down there in the mud.

Mikie, take No 9 shot from the lake,
Fore;; Great shot, but I think thats Charnwoods ball. easy mistake Mikie, that counts as a foul shot.
Fore ;; that's it well done, you can nearly see the green from there with a telescope

UPDATE;
mARCO.. 2. Holed
G&B.......3 Holed
No 9.......4 shots
Charnood 4 shots
Frosty.....still in A&E.

[marko69]

Aw right, Wolferino........, I'm leaving you to choose who plays my shots for the next month. I'm off up North tomorrow until Sunday (Job in Banchory) then I'm off to Tarifa for three weeks next Monday. CANNOT WAIT! Won't have time to log on here. (Also put up all the weeks available to me on the prediction league so that I can continue to suck at it)

Aw the very best, 'MON THE HIBS, ITFC & THE WOLVES!......, FK THE JAMBOS!